


Don't Judge a Book(store) By Its Cover

by sophie_448



Category: CW RPF, Smallville RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-31
Updated: 2008-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13933065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophie_448/pseuds/sophie_448
Summary: Jared and company work at Channing and Weston, a huge chain bookstore in LA. Jensen is the shy new head cashier. There are sparks between the two right from the start and enough other drama in the store to power its own tabloid.





	1. Parts 1-10

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted with daily updates during January of 2008. It was a New Years resolution to see if I could update something every day. As such, it is extremely unedited. So, ya know, enter at your own risk. When I wrote this I was working at a bookstore with very dramatic coworkers, so take from that what you will.
> 
> If it's helpful, you can find an illustrated cast list [here](https://ifshehadwings.livejournal.com/4566.html).

**Part 1:**

Jared stood behind the Information desk of Channing and Weston, the largest chain bookstore in California. He allowed his brain to coast on auto-pilot as he put sale stickers on approximately ten million copies of the new James Patterson. “I swear that man must have elves writing for him or something,” he said to his co-worker, Kristen, who was similarly occupied, “Seems like he puts out a new book every week.”

Kristen rolled her eyes. “Yeah, seriously,” she agreed, then something caught her attention across the store. “Hey, who’s that with Eric?” she asked, referring to their store manager.

“Probably a customer,” Jared mumbled before he even bothered to look up from his stickering. When he did follow Kristen’s gaze, he was struck speechless. Eric was heading towards them, followed by the single most gorgeous guy Jared had ever seen. Oh, my god.

“Jared?” Kristen was peering at him in concern.

He shook his head to clear it, hoping he would regain the power of speech by the time Eric reached them. The powers that be were apparently feeling merciful, because he managed to say, “Hey, Eric. What’s up?” with only a hint of strain in his voice.

Eric didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, so Jared figured he’d passed. “Hey, Jared, Kristen,” he said, nodding to each of them with his usual, affable grin, “This is Jensen. He’s going to be our new head cashier.”

Jared was already drinking Jensen in. At close range he looked even better than he had from across the store. He stood a few inches shorter than Jared, but at six-four, who didn’t? He had short-cropped brown hair that lightened to blonde at the tips, lips that should be illegal, an adorable dusting of freckles across his cheeks and eyes . . . that were fixed firmly on the floor. Hmm, that’s odd, Jared thought. He decided to just barrel ahead anyway, as he did in almost all situations.

“Hey, I’m Jared,” he said brightly, smiling and sticking out his hand to shake.

Jensen looked up, seemingly reluctantly, and Jared was bowled over again. If the rest of Jensen was amazing, his eyes were out of this world. They were clear and green with gold flecks in them and Jared was pretty sure that if he spent too long staring into them he was going to forget his own name. Good thing he’d already introduced himself.

Jensen looked at Jared’s outstretched hand for a moment, as if unsure of what to do with it, then finally reached up and shook it slowly, but firmly. “Pleasure,” he answered softly.

“So, Jared, I was hoping you’d do the honors and give Jensen the grand tour. I’ve got a conference call in five minutes and Dawn will have my ass if I call in late,” Eric said, dispelling the weird tension in the air.

Jared grinned easily again. “Sure thing, boss!” he said with a mock salute.

Eric rolled his eyes and hightailed it back towards the office.

Jared turned to look at Kristen who was looking back with a considering expression. Uh oh. Jared hoped he wasn’t being painfully obvious, but he probably was. “Hey, Kristen. Think you can handle the crowd while I show Jensen around?”

She tossed a cursory glance around the sales floor where the few customers shopping on a Monday morning seemed perfectly happy without assistance. “Yeah, I think I can beat back the masses.”

“Awesome.” Jared turned to look at Jensen again. “Time for your tour of the asylum.”

Jensen gave him a look that clearly said he thought Jared was the one in need of an institution, but fell in wordlessly beside him.

Jared figured they’d start with the café. Fortunately it was 10 AM and the mad coffee rush was over so he’d be able to make proper introductions.

Sandy and Sophia were behind the counter when they made their way over. Jared introduced the tiny brunettes affectionately and noticed that Jensen didn’t seem nearly as shy around them. Interesting.

“Mike’s here this morning, right girls?” he asked.

Sophia nodded. “Yep. He’s getting something out of the freezer.” She pretended to look concerned. “Hope he didn’t get stuck in there or something.”

Jared laughed. “Rosenbaum!” he called into the back, “Get out here and meet our newest arrival!”

There was a crash followed by what sounded like some very colorful language for the retail environment, but it was hard to be sure. A moment later, Mike emerged. “What do you want, Padalecki?” he demanded, rubbing a hand through his short brown hair. Then he caught sight of Jensen. “Well, hello there,” he said, making no effort to hide his lascivious smirk, “It’s certainly a pleasure to meet you.”

Jensen frowned slightly. “We haven’t met,” he said.

Mike recovered instantly. “A grievous oversight that could be remedied if Jared here had any manners.” His eyes snapped to Jared. “What are you waiting for? Introduce us!”

Jared heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Dude, you didn’t give me a chance before you practically jumped the guy. Mike, this is Jensen, the new head cashier. Jensen, the man molesting you is Mike Rosenbaum, our café manager.”

Jensen gave a neutral nod and Jared figured it was time to move on with the tour. As they walk away he added, “My roommate, Chad, works in the café too. And Allison, Allie, she’s really nice. You’ll like her.”

They made their way to the other side of the store and the music department. Jared introduced Jensen to Jeff Morgan, the manager. Jensen greeted him in the same, reserved manner he had used with everyone thus far.

Chris, who had been helping a customer over in the far corner of the department, jumped into the conversation. “Hey, I’m Chris,” he said, then paused, looking at Jensen speculatively. “You look really familiar.”

Jensen shrugged and shook his head. “Jensen,” he said, sticking out his hand.

Chris shook, still looking like he was trying to place Jensen, but finally shrugging. “Good to meet ya.”

For their next stop, Jared dragged Jensen into the children’s department. He spotted a tall, dark haired man shelving picture books. “Hey,” he started and the guy straightened up to see who wanted his attention. “Jensen, this is—“

“Tom,” Jensen finished, his eyes wide and all the color suddenly gone from his face.

The normally affable Tom Welling suddenly looked very ill at ease. His gaze was fixed on the floor and he scuffed his shoe against some imaginary imperfection in the carpet. “Hey, Jensen,” he mumbled at the ground.

Jared glanced back and forth between Jensen and Tom, trying to think of a way to dispel the palpable tension. “So, you two know each other!” he said with strained joviality.

They both nodded mutely and the silence stretched out until Jared huffed out a breath. “Well, I guess we’d better get on with the tour then. See ya, Tom!”

Once they were back on the main book floor, Jensen shot a shy glance his way. “Listen, Jared. Thanks for the tour and all. I think I’d better just go ahead and get to work.”

Jared nodded, wondering what the hell just happened. “Yeah, sure, of course. You’ve pretty much seen everything anyway.”

Jensen nodded firmly and shot off towards the front cash registers like the devil was on his heels.

Jared just shook his head as he watched him go, confused and fascinated.

**Part 2:**

Steve was rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he clocked in for the closing shift. He walked through the break room door, intending to drop off his jacket and stopped dead. He rubbed his eyes again, unable to believe what he was seeing.

“Jensen?!”

The dirty blonde head snapped up, startled. Jensen gulped down the bite of sandwich he’d been chewing and stood abruptly, nearly tripping over his chair in the process.

“Steve!”

Jensen looked as shocked as he was feeling. After all it wasn’t everyday you ran into your best friend who you hadn’t talked to in two years at your workplace. Steve’s surprise scoots over a bit to make room for the burn of shame. They hadn’t fought or anything; nothing so dramatic.

They’d roomed together all four years of college. They’d been the kind of close that had everyone else they knew rolling their eyes and feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Then graduation rolled around and they’d gone their separate ways, promising to stay in touch. At first the visits and phone calls and emails were frequent, but as they built up separate lives, the intervals in between got farther and farther apart. Until they’d stopped entirely. Steve knew it was a two-way street and all that bullshit, but he still felt deeply guilty for letting go of the best friend he’d ever had.

Initial exclamations out of the way, the awkwardness of those two lost years settled in between them. Steve cleared his throat and looked around at anything but Jensen.

“So, uh, what are you doing here?”

“I work here.”

“Oh, right, of course. So do I.”

Jensen rolled his eyes just slightly, a teasing smirk that Steve remembered well on his lips. “Yeah, I figured.”

“Right. So, when did you start?”

“This morning. Transferred in from the Sacramento store,” Jensen elaborated, taking pity on Steve.

“Wow. Who woulda figured we’d both end up working for Channing and Weston, huh?”

Jensen huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “Yeah. Not exactly what we had planned out in college, right?”

And just like that things were easy between them. Almost like no time has passed at all. Most likely they wouldn’t talk about it. That’s one of the things that drew them together. They understood each other well enough not to need to talk about it.

It was weird that they never hooked up. Two gay men who got along on almost every conceivable level, they really should have. But it was never like that with them. It never even crossed either of their minds in a serious way. Just one of those things. And speaking of hook-ups.

“Oh, hey! You’ve got to meet my boyfriend. Come on!” Steve grabbed Jensen by the elbow and hauled him out of the break room, laughing as he made a whimpering sound and cast a longing glance back at his unfinished sandwich.

Steve caught a few mystified looks from his coworkers as he dragged Jensen across the floor to the music department, but he was too excited to care. He’d explain later to the ones who actually cared and the rest of them would make up whatever explanation suited them. That was the nature of the rumor mill.

“Chris!” he called, darting his eyes around the racks of CD’s and DVD’s.

“Yeah?” came the faint answer, followed by an ominous sounding crash. “Shit. Coming!”

After another moment of muttered cursing that made Steve smile fondly, Chris appeared, a huge stack of CD’s in his hands.

“Chris, this is Jensen,” Steve said, practically bouncing with excitement.

Chris gave him a confused look. “Yeah, we met this morning,” he said slowly.

Steve just kept looking at him expectantly. He looked back and forth from his boyfriend to the new head cashier and suddenly the light went on. “Holy shit! Jensen Jensen?! The Jensen who’s in every single picture you have from college?”

Steve nodded happily. “Awesome, right?”

Chris laughed. “Well if that doesn’t just beat all!”

“Hey, don’t you slackers have work to do?”

They all turned abruptly at Jeff’s mock stern tone.

“Jeff! This is Jensen!” Steve said.

Jeff gave him the same look Chris had given him moments ago. “Yeah, we met this morning.”

Jensen and Chris burst into laughter.

“Umm, did I miss something?”

**Part 3:**

“Dude, doesn’t Steve already have a boyfriend?” Kristen asked, raising her eyebrows at Jared. They were leaning against the counter of the information desk, observing the proceedings in the music department; Kristen with keen interest, Jared with a vague feeling of dissatisfaction.

“Yep! And he’s standing right there looking like Jensen’s the second coming. Threesome?”

Jared startled at the interruption, looking over to see that Sophia had joined them, followed closely by Mike.

“Oh, please. Chris and Steve are like the definition of committed monogamy,” Mike chimed in, “They’d never go for a threesome. Believe me, I asked.”

The other three were too used to Mike to do more than roll their eyes at this announcement.

“Long lost brother?” Kristen proposed.

Sophia shook her head. “They don’t look enough alike. Cousin maybe.”

“But who really likes their cousins that much?” Mike queried.

The girls grimaced in frustrated agreement.

“You know, one of us could just go over there and ask,” Jared pointed out.

“Good plan. You do it!” Sophia said.

“Woah, whoah, wait a second! I never said I wanted to. I just said someone could.”

Sophia laughed dismissively. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Kristen leaned across Jared to stage whisper to Sophia, “You know, he practically went non-verbal this morning when Eric introduced them.”

Sophia’s eyebrows rose in delighted surprise. “Oh, really? Does someone have a crush? It’s okay, Jay, you can tell us. We won’t tell a soul.”

Jared’s eyes widened in panic. It was never good to be the subject of the rumor mill. “Yeah, right, I believe that,” he said sarcastically.

Sophia put her hand to her heart in mock offence. “I can keep a secret,” she pouted.

Mike rolled his eyes. “No one here can keep a secret. It’s like there’s something in the water.”

“Or the lattes,” Kristen proposed.

“What’s the secret?” Chad asked, joining the group. Sloppily dressed like he just barely managed to roll out of bed at three in the afternoon.

“That you’re late again,” Mike responded, sarcasm lacing his tone, “Oh, wait! That’s not a secret. Get to work!”

Chad rolled his eyes. Too familiar with Mike to be intimidated. “Oh, like you’re doing?”

Mike puffed up his chest. “I’m a manager. I delegate and supervise.”

“Uh huh.”

Sophia grabbed Chad’s arm and started dragging him toward the café before Mike killed him on principal. “Come on. I’ll fill you in,” she chirped, launching into the story as they walked out of earshot.

Mike shook his head. “One day that roommate of yours is going to push me too far,” he remarked to Jared.

Jared laughed. “Never happen, Rosenbaum. You’re too much of a softy.”

Mike playfully clapped a hand over his mouth. “Shush! Can’t have confidential information like that getting out!”

That just made Jared laugh harder.

“So you guys coming over tonight?” Mike held “get togethers” at his apartment at least a couple of nights a week. These gatherings usually involved a lot of alcohol and very little common sense.

“I don’t know, Mike,” Jared hedged, “I’ve gotta open tomorrow.”

“Oh, come on! There’ll be time to sleep when you’re dead!”

Jared heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Yeah, okay.”

Mike gave a satisfied grin and turned to Kristen. “What about you, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, count me in. Hey! Why don’t you invite Jensen?”

“Great idea! We can find out all his secrets!”

“Umm, I don’t know if that’s such a great idea,” Jared cut in, “Is Tom gonna be there?”

Mike clutched dramatically at his chest with both hands. “Tom Welling? Love of my life? Of course!”

Jared sighed. “No, Tom Welling the very straight man you have a crush on. Jensen knows him and there was this really awkward moment when I started to introduce them this morning. I don’t think they like each other.”

Mike’s eyes widened and Jared could practically see him disregarding everything Jared had said except for one thing. “He knows my baby?”

“One more time. Tom is straight and it was awkward. But you’re just going to ignore me anyway, aren’t you?”

“Absolutely,” Mike declared, then walked off towards the cluster of men in the music department calling, “Hey, newbie! You like to party?”

Jared sighed again, dropping his chin to his chest. “This is so not good,” he mumbled to his navel.

Kristen laughed. “Oh, come on, it’s just Mike. He’s mostly harmless.”

“Yeah, like a Chihuahua with rabies is mostly harmless,” Jared observed morosely.

“Point,” Kristen conceded, then continued almost casually, “So, do you have a crush on the new guy?”

Jared shot her a baleful look. “I don’t know. Do you have a crush on a certain brunette café server I should tell the whole store about?”

“Oh, low blow! You wouldn’t!” she pouted.

“No, I wouldn’t, cause I’m just that nice of a guy, but that doesn’t mean I trust you as far as I could throw you.”

“Hmm, fair enough,” she said, tossing him a wink.

Just then they were distracted by customers coming up with questions. “Oh, right, we do work here!” Kristen exclaimed in mock surprise before attending to her customer.

Jared smiled and did the same, but he couldn’t shake his niggling worry about the coming evening. He tried to shrug it off, telling himself Mike would be Mike and usually they all survived the experience, but he was uneasy. Not to mention he couldn’t decide whether he was more nervous that Jensen would come or that he wouldn’t.

**Part 4:**

Jensen sifted through his dresser drawers in growing frustration. He’d already tried and rejected three different shirts. He sat back on the end of the bed, running a hand through his hair. He wasn’t even sure why he’d accepted Mike’s invitation. He’d never exactly been a social butterfly, even in college, and his anti-social tendencies had only increased after graduation.

Then again, he’d come to LA for a change. Maybe he should embrace it. He smirked derisively at that thought. Apparently he hadn’t gone quite far enough. Who knew he’d find his old best friend and his old, well, Tom both working in the same store he happened to transfer to. It was a coincidence almost on the level of Miss Cleo and he couldn’t deny he was shaken.

No doubt about it, he was glad to see Steve again. He’d really regretted losing touch, but things hadn’t been going so well out in the “real world” and, Jensen was ashamed to admit even to himself, it had just been too much effort to keep up their friendship long distance.

And then there was Tom. Jensen’s brain took an abrupt left turn every time the subject surfaced in his consciousness. Well, at least they wouldn’t really have a lot of overlap at work. If he tried, Jensen might be able to avoid him entirely.

With that comforting thought in mind, he bounced up off the bed and attacked his wardrobe again. He finally decided on a green, screen printed t-shirt. It was one of his favorites, soft and worn in and tight enough to just barely cling to his torso. He paired it with new jeans that made his ass look amazing. Jensen wasn’t any vainer than your average gay man, but he wasn’t blind either. As long as he was going to go be social, he might as well emphasize his assets.

His thoughts drifted to Jared. His tour guide for the morning was pretty much the most attractive man he’d ever met, and Jensen wasn’t prone to hyperbole. Unbelievably tall with legs for miles, those hazel cat eyes and a puppy dog smile, and suddenly Jensen was regretting choosing the tighter fit for his jeans. He took a couple of breaths to get control of himself. Then he reminded himself firmly of his no dating rule. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a written in stone type of rule, but Jensen was pretty much the definition of cautious when it came to men.

He shook his head to dispel the depressing thoughts. Tonight he was going to go and have fun with his new coworkers and old friend. No sense in dwelling on things he couldn’t change. He cast a final glance in the mirror and, finding everything in order, grabbed his wallet and walked out the door.

**Part 5:**

The party wasn’t too crazy when Jensen got there, but he could tell it was on its way to being a rager. Mike threw open the door when he rang the bell, all pink cheeks and overly wide smile. “Jenny! You came!” he greeted, throwing an arm around Jensen’s shoulders and dragging him inside.

Jensen hunched his shoulders and ducked his head, embarrassed, but pleased to be included. “Umm, I don’t really like it when people call me that,” he said.

“What, Jenny?”

Jensen nodded, quirking his lips apologetically.

“Sorry man!” Mike said affably, “From now on I’ll call you Mr. umm. Hey wait! What’s your last name?”

Jensen couldn’t help but laugh softly. Mike had a way of making you feel at ease. “It’s Ackles, but Jensen is fine.”

“All right, so what’s your poison?”

“Just a beer’s fine.”

“Beer for my new friend, coming right up!”

Mike sashayed away towards the kitchen, there was no other word for it. Jensen took the opportunity to look around the room. He spotted Steve and Chris on the couch, pressed in so close to each other than no one would mistake them for just friends. Jensen smiled. He was glad Steve had found someone. He deserved it. And from their brief introductions earlier, Jensen was inclined to like Chris.

Continuing his survey of the room, he spotted most of the people he’d met that day, plus quite a few he didn’t know. When his eyes drifted over the far corner of the room, he froze. Tom was standing there, a wide grin on his face as he chatted up a couple of very attentive girls.

Before his brain could even totally process the image, his legs were turning him around and moving him towards the door. He had his hand on the doorknob when Steve’s arm shot across his chest, blocking his way.

“Running away?” Steve asked, leveling his gaze on Jensen.

Jensen raised his eyebrows. “Umm, yeah.”

“Jen,” Steve said, his lips thinning, “It’s been five years. He’s already taken enough from you. Don’t let him take this.”

Jensen sighed heavily, his eyes darting from Steve to the door and back again. “I just can’t do this tonight,” he protested.

“If not tonight, then when?” Steve combed the hand that wasn’t pinning Jensen through his hair. “Just come have a drink with us, okay? You don’t even have to talk to him. In fact, I’d recommend it.”

Jensen’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Yeah, all right. But if things get weird, I’m leaving.”

“Fair enough, now come on!”

Jensen followed Steve over to the couch where Chris was sprawled out to keep other people from taking their seats. Mike found them just then.

“Jensen! There you are! I thought you disappeared.” He handed him a beer.

Jensen smiled his thanks, then followed Steve’s lead, sitting on the couch as Chris sat back up and made room. Mike sat down on Jensen’s other side, slinging an arm around his shoulders again and making himself at home.

“So!” he started, “I hear you know—“

“All my darkest secrets, yeah,” Steve cut in, shooting Mike a warning look.

Mike might be crazy, but he wasn’t stupid, so he took the hint.

“Right! You must have all kinds of dirt on Stevey here. C’mon! Gimme something!”

Steve dropped his head back against the back of the couch in mock despair. “Hey now! I’m your best friend. Don’t sell me out!”

Jensen made a considering face. “I don’t know. Mike here’s supplying the alcohol. Maybe he’s my best friend!”

The four of them settled in comfortably on the couch, drinking and bantering. For a moment, Jensen felt almost outside of himself, surprised by his own openness with virtual strangers. He chalked it up to having Steve by his side. His best friend had always been able to draw him out like nobody else. Nobody except—well, Tom. He risked a glance across the room and was sorry he did.

One of the girls had left and the other one, a petite blonde, was in Tom’s lap, kissing him sloppily. Jensen turned his head sharply and found Steve watching him with worried eyes. He shook his head and shrugged to let Steve know he wasn’t going to let it bother him. Well, he was going to try anyway. He turned to Mike.

“So, uh, do you think Jared’s going to come tonight?” he asked, trying for casual, but hearing himself fail miserably.

Mike picked up on his tone like a dog picking up a scent.

“Oh, so you like the giant, huh?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“What? I—no! I just—he was—he seemed nice this morning.” Jensen felt the blush staining his neck and cheeks and buried his face in his hands.

Mike laughed, but it sounded friendly, not malicious. He patted Jensen’s head comfortingly. “Whatever you say, champ. Jolly Green said he was coming, but I wouldn’t put it past him to flake. Said something about opening in the morning. Like that’s an excuse not to party!”

“Right,” Jensen agreed weakly, a smile returning tentatively to his face at Mike’s lack of pressure on the subject of Jared. The more he talked to the guy, the more he liked him.

Looking to his other side, Jensen noted that the longer the evening wore on and the more alcohol was consumed, the closer Chris and Steve got. By this point Steve was sprawled across Chris’ lap, his head resting in the crook of his shoulder. Jensen’s lips twitched into a smile of affection at the sight.

His attention was yanked away abruptly when Mike jumped up from the couch shouting, “Jay, my man! You showed!

Jensen’s breath caught in his throat as he spotted Jared at the door. He could swear the guy had gotten taller since this morning, not to mention more gorgeous. He was wearing faded jeans with a couple of rips in them that Jensen was pretty sure were earned, not bought. They were paired with a slightly rumpled button-down in a shade that looked suspiciously like pink. Mike said something Jensen couldn’t hear and Jared burst into loud, carefree laughter.

Jensen jumped up abruptly, needing to be somewhere Jared wasn’t before all his faculties failed him. “Umm, bathroom?” he asked.

“Past the kitchen,” Steve said, gesturing behind them and looking perplexed.

Jensen shot out of the room without another word. He closed the bathroom door and clicked the lock, then leaned against it, dragging air into his lungs. This was so not good.

**Part 6:**

Chad drifted away from Jared’s side while his roommate talked to Mike. He wove aimlessly through the crush of people until he spotted Sophia and Kristen over by the patio door.

“Hey, girls,” he greeted.

“Hey, boy,” Sophia returned, grinning impishly.

“So, what did I miss? My prissy roommate went through about twelve outfits before I managed to drag him out the door. I thought we’d never get here.”

The girls giggled. “Ooh, the plot thickens!” Kristen exclaimed.

“What? You know something?”

Sophia rolled her eyes. “You know, for a straight guy, you do love to gossip.

Chad shoved her lightly in the shoulder. “Yeah, well, how else do I know what’s going on with all the crazies we work with?”

“True. So, you’ve pretty much confirmed our theory that Jared has a crush on the new guy, Jensen.”

“And,” Kristen chimed in, “Now it looks likes Jensen might be crushing back!”

“How can you tell?” Chad looked around the room bewilderedly. “Where is he anyway?”

More giggling.

“Well, the second you and Jared walked in, Jensen jumped up looking all panicked and sprinted for the bathroom,” Kristen said.

“And, no offense, but I’m pretty sure he’s not crushing on you,” Sophia finished.

“Thanks a lot!”

“Well, you wouldn’t want him to, would you?” Kristen asked.

“No!” he said, but he was laughing, knowing his friends were only teasing.

“Anyway,” Sophia continued, “That’s the big headline for the day, but it’s not the only story.”

“Oh?”

Kristen gestured across the room. “Nope. Check out Allie and Tom. It looks like they’re about five seconds away from blowing this popsicle stand.”

Chad’s eyes widened as he looked where she was pointing. “Wow, that’s new!” He tilted his head to the side as he watched the heavy make out session going on. “Umm, it looks like they might need some help getting detached later.”

Sophia stifled a laugh with her hand. “Ooh, it looks to me like they’re interested in getting closer, not farther apart.”

Chad slapped a hand over his eyes. “Geez, Soph! Spare me the mental image, please!” There was more laughter and he pulled himself away from the wall. “I’m gonna go grab a drink. Try not to have too much fun without me,” he cautioned, then walked off towards the kitchen.

***

 

Jeff sank back into his chair, rubbing his thumb across the smooth surface of the glass in his hand. It was his favorite chair, worn in and comfortable and a prayer away from disintegrating entirely. He’d had it since college and never had the heart to get rid of it.

He took a sip of amber liquid and felt it burn its way down his throat. He stared at the glass consideringly for a moment, then nodded and tossed back the remainder of its contents. He sat the glass on the table beside him and listened to the silence of his empty apartment, accented by the buzzing of his good friend, whiskey.

He sighed and switched off the floor lamp beside him, plunging his living room into total darkness. He knew how pathetic it was, drinking alone in the dark, but he couldn’t quite work up the energy to care.

He thought about earlier today, when Mike had asked him to come to his party. He asked often, but Jeff never accepted. He didn’t really think Mike expected him to. He was older and, hopefully, more mature than most of the regular guests at Michael’s parties and he could imagine with vivid clarity how out of place he would feel there. He didn’t see the need to go and experience the reality.

Mike’s friends were one thing. Unfortunately, Michael Rosenbaum himself was quite another matter. Jeff might lie to other people, but he did try to be honest with himself and honestly, he was drawn to that man with an almost irresistible force.

Unfortunately, the feeling wasn’t mutual. As a manager, Jeff didn’t catch quite as much of the gossip as his subordinates, but he was neither deaf nor stupid. Mike wanted Tom, straight or not, and that was that.

Jeff sighed and levered himself up from his chair. It was probably for the best anyway. Nothing serious could ever work between them and while he certainly wasn’t old, he was old enough to be looking for more than a fling. Shaking his head, he felt his way through the dark into his bedroom. If he was going to be home alone with the lights off, he might as well go to sleep.

**Part 7:**

Jensen would have been perfectly content to hide in the bathroom for the rest of the night, but then he realized something. He wasn’t alone anymore. Steve was out there in the living room and, if past experience was anything to go by, he was about thirty seconds from banging on the door and demanding Jensen come out.

Steve had some . . . unconventional methods of battling Jensen’s shyness when it got out of hand and this was shaping up to be one of those times. So, he took a deep breath, gathered up all the scattered bits of his resolve, and opened the door. He strode down the hall, so intent on his goal that he didn’t even see the guy coming out ofhte kitchen until he rang straight into him.

The guy fumbled for a moment, but managed to save the beer in his hand from hitting the floor. He braced Jensen with his other hand. “Whoa, slow down there! You might hurt somebody if you’re not careful,” he said, sounding amused. Then his eyes lit up. “New guy! I’m Chad.” He offered his hand to shake and Jensen took it somewhat bemusedly.

“Jensen,” he returned, “But I guess you can call me ‘new guy’ if you want.”

Chad burst out laughing. “You’re funny.”

Jensen shrugged and ducked his head.

“Hey, I think Jay was looking for you actually.”

“Jay?”

“Jared, my roommate,” Chad elaborated. He angled his head toward the living room. “Come on, then.”

At the mention of Jared, Jensen’s breathing started speeding up again and he was heartily tempted to make a dash back to the bathroom. At just that moment, though, Steve popped around the corner, a searching look in his eye. He smiled when he spotted Jensen with Chad.

“Jen, there you are!” he said, “You’re not trying to corrupt my boy are you, Chad?”

Chad rolled his eyes. “My boy is looking for him,” he answered.

Steve’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, really? Well carry on then!”

As Chad dragged him away, Jensen tossed a pleading look over his shoulder at Steve, but Steve just smiled and made a shooing gesture at him. He decided it was best to just accept his fate and face it like a man. He squared his shoulders as he was brought face to face with Jared.

***

 

Jared had been thinking about Jensen all day, despite his efforts to distract himself. And now he was having to work really hard to keep his distraction hidden while he talked to Mike. He had spotted Jensen the moment he came in, mostly thanks to the fact that Mike had been sitting right next to him. But Jensen had jumped up and disappeared right after that and he’d been gone for a few minutes now.

Suddenly Jared realized Mike was looking at him expectantly. Obviously he had asked him a question which Jared hadn’t even heard. “Sorry, what?” he asked.

Mike rolled his eyes. “I said you seem distracted tonight,” he said with a pointed stare, “Anyone particular on your mind?

“No!” Jared said and the second it was out of his mouth he knew he’d spoken too quickly to be convincing. Especially to a seasoned matchmaker like Mike.

Sure enough, Mike shot him a disbelieving look. “Yeah, right. Spill. Who is it? It’s Jensen, isn’t it?”

Jared groaned in embarrassment. He’d hoped he wasn’t that transparent. “Yeah, it is, but don’t tell anyone, okay?”

Mike made a face of mock affront. “Me? Surely you know me better than that!”

“Yeah, Mike, I do, which is why I’m asking you to go against your nature and keep your trap shut.”

Mike patted Jared’s arm comfortingly. “Don’t worry, Big Jay, your secret’s safe with me. And speaking of, here he comes!”

Jared nearly gave himself whiplash he looked up and around so quickly. Sure enough, Jensen was coming toward him, dragged by Chad of all people.

“Hey, roomie! Look who nearly ran me over in the hall. Our new pal, Jensen! Oh, hey, looks like Sophie and Kristen need me. You come too, Mike. Okay, see y’all later, bye!”

Jared barely blinked and suddenly Chad and Mike were across the room and he was face to face with Jensen alone. Well, okay, alone in a crowd of drunk people, but essentially without backup.

“Umm, hey,” he said, suddenly feeling extremely awkward.

Jensen seemed to find his shoes intensely interesting. “Hey,” he told them.

“So, uh, some friends I’ve got, huh?”

Jensen looked up for an instant and Jared caught a hint of laughter in his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, then looked down again.

“They may be insane, but they’re pretty good guys. Don’t let them scare you back to Sacramento or anything.”

This time Jensen looked at Jared long enough to complete a whole eye roll. Jared cheered mentally, counting this as progress. “Nah, they seem nice. Mike’s been really great.”

Jared grinned. “Yeah, he’s like that. Buckets of crazy, but his heart’s in the right place. Well, except where Tom’s concerned. He simply will not accept that the man is straight. I swear, one of these days he’s gonna—“ Jared broke off suddenly. Jensen had gone frighteningly still and white as a sheet. “What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?”

Jensen shook his head like he was trying to clear it. “No, umm, it’s just—it’s nothing. I’ve gotta go.” He whirled abruptly on his heel, walking over to the couch where Steve was wrapped around Chris. He spoke briefly to Steve, who sat up quickly, disentangling himself from his boyfriend.

Steve looked at Jared, then across the room. Jared tracked his line of sight and saw Tom and Allie making out in the corner. Tom. And he’d been talking about Tom when Jensen had freaked out just now. And there was that tense moment when the two of them met that morning.

There was a picture forming in Jared’s head. It was blurry and missing big chunks like puzzle pieces, but the impression he was getting was pretty upsetting. He watched Jensen leave, kicking himself for being an idiot. Then he headed out to the patio. He needed some air and a quiet space to think because there was a lot to sort out in his head.

**Part 8:**

Tuesday morning, Mike was feeling the effects of last night’s drinking. Not regretting, no, because he believed that it was worth paying the consequences to feel that he was living life to the fullest. And a hangover was pretty much the only thing that incited in him any seriousness or self-reflection.

So when he ran into Jeff in the office, he greeted him with a quiet “Hey,” rather than his usual, exuberant salutation.

“Hey, Mike. Too much fun last night?”

“Nah, just enough fun.” Mike paused, considering. “You didn’t show though. You never do. Why is that, Jeff?”

Jeff looked genuinely surprised. “You don’t seriously think I’d fit in with the twenty-somethings, do you?”

Mike shrugged. “It’s my party, not theirs. Will you come next time?”

Just then, the copies Jeff had been making finished. He snatched them out of the tray. “I’ve got work to do,” he said sharply before brushing past Mike and leaving the office.

Mike stared after him in consternation. Jeff was usually such an easygoing guy. He couldn’t understand what he’d said to upset him.

***

 

Jared was on edge all day, waiting for Jensen to come in for the afternoon shift. He felt like such an ass for mentioning Tom when he should have realized it was a touchy subject. He desperately wanted to talk to Jensen and make things right, but he didn’t have his number and even if he did, he had to work.

It occurred to him that maybe it was weird to be this concerned about someone he’d only known for a day, but he felt irresistibly drawn to Jensen. He hoped he hadn’t screwed up his chances before he even had a chance to get started.

Finally, three o’clock rolled around. Not that Jared was watching the door or anything, but when he spotted Jensen coming in, he bounded over, eager to make things right. “Hey, Jensen,” he greeted.

“Jared,” Jensen acknowledged, nodding at him, but not looking particularly happy to see him.

Quickly Jared tossed his cautious plan out the window and barreled ahead, all the things that had been running through him mind spilling out in a rush. “Listen, Jensen, I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to upset you, okay? And I know I just met you, but I really want us to be friends. If you give me another chance I swear I won’t screw it up. Please?”

A reluctant smile lights Jensen’s face. “It wasn’t you, all right? Don’t worry about it. Of course we can be friends.”

Jared’s cheeks hurt he smiles so wide. “Awesome! So, umm, do you maybe want to try something a little quieter? I mean, Mike’s parties aren’t exactly the greatest place to talk anyway. What do you say? IHOP tonight? I’ll pick you up when your shift ends.”

“Umm, sure,” Jensen says, looking a little stunned.

“Great! See you then!”

**Part 9:**

Chris flopped down at the break room table with a muffled groan. “Oh, my God, Jeff is being a pissy bitch today,” he announced to no one in particular, although it was vaguely directed at Sandy since she happened to be the only other person in the room.

She made a non-committal, yet annoyed sound and flipped a page in her magazine.

Chris looked up at her, statled. “Whoa! Going around I see.”

She immediately looked apologetic. “Oh, Chris, I’m sorry. I just have some stuff on my mind is all.”

“Yeah? What stuff?”

“Nothing much.”

“Come on. You can tell me.”

She looked around, then leaned in closer. “Okay, but you promise you won’t tell anyone?”

He nodded. “Yeah, absolutely.”

“Okay, so Allie hooked up with Tom last night—“

“Yeah, we all noticed.”

She slapped his arm lightly. “Shut up! That’s just the preface. Anyway, she will not stop talking about it and it’s driving me crazy because—“

“What?”

She looked down at the table, fidgeting. “Because she’s a tiny blonde person and she makes me think of another tiny blonde person who I’m not hooking up with.”

“Wait, come again?”

“I have a crush on Kristen, okay?” she said, looking miserable, “Now please don’t go spreading that around the store.”

“You know I wouldn’t. Have you talked to her?”

“No!” Sandy exclaimed, looking horrified at the very idea, “I couldn’t!”

“Why not? You’ll never know if maybe she likes you back otherwise.”

“Oh, she doesn’t. She couldn’t.”

“Umm, why not? You’re seriously hot.”

“Stop being such a guy, Christian.”

“Oh, not that’s just hitting below the belt, sweetheart! The gay friend is totally allowed to assess your hotness.”

“Yeah, I just. It’s complicated.”

“You wanna uncomplicated it?”

She shook her head glumly. “Not really. Thanks, though.” She glanced at the clock. “Thirty minutes is just never as long as it should be. Later, Chris.”

***

 

Jensen stared after Jared, dazed and bit unsure of what had just happened. About five seconds ago he had been resolved to keep things strictly business—with Jared and everybody else. It was just easier that way. No muss, no fuss.

Then Jared had practically bowled him over with his pleading, puppy-dog eyes and sincere apologies when he hadn’t even done anything and now—Jensen fumbled in his pocket for his cell phone, dialing with trembling fingers.

“Hello?”

“Steve. Hey.”

“Hey, Jen. What’s up?”

“Um, I did something bad.”

“Like what?”

“I, um, think I just accepted a date. With Jared. For tonight.”

Steve let out a whoop that had Jensen pulling the phone away from his ear. “Damn right you did something wrong, Jen,” he said with barely restrained glee, “Don’t you know a lady never accepts a date with less than three days notice?”

Jensen glared at nothing in particular since Steve wasn’t actually present to benefit from his death stare. “Bitch.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah.” Jensen paused, pinching the bridge of his nose and huffing out a breath. “So—you think this is okay, then?”

“Jensen. It’s more than okay. It’s great. Have you dated at all since—“ Steve cut himself off, then redirected, “since college?”

“Yeah, a little. Kind of. It just never really went anywhere.”

Steve sighed. “Don’t be afraid to let yourself be happy. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, Steve. I gotta go. I’m gonna be late.”

“Full details tomorrow!” Steve crowed as Jensen flipped his phone shut and sprinted for the time clock. It wouldn’t do to be late on his second day.

**Part 10:**

Chris heard the overhead page for him and grabbed the phone. “This is Chris. How can I help you?”

“Hey, it’s Steve.”

Chris dropped the professional phone voice instantly. “Hey, baby,” he greeted warmly, “What’s up?”

“I need you to keep an eye on Jensen for me.”

“How come?”

“Well, Jared kind of asked him on a date tonight.”

“Really? That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, it is, but I think Jen might try to make a run for it. He’s really skittish about dating and I think he’s gonna talk himself out of it by closing time. So can you just make sure he doesn’t try to slip out or something crazy?”

“I’ll cut him off at the pass. You can count on me to play cupid in your absence.”

Steve laughed. “Thanks. And then,” he paused.

“Yeah?”

“Hurry home,” Steve finished, his voice dropping half an octave and making Chris shiver pleasantly.

“Fast as I can,” he promised.

***

 

Sophia opened the till and bit back a curse when she saw the four lonely pennies inside. It was just like Chad to leave the drawer like that without telling anyone. She gave the customer in front of her his change and then made a dive for the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, we need change over here like ten minutes ago.”

“Okay. Be right there.”

Barely a minute later, Jensen entered the café, several rolls of coins in his hands.

“My hero!” Sophia exclaimed, grinning.

Jensen gave her a shy smile. “Yeah, whatever you say.”

As he opened the drawer and traded out change for bills, Sophia said, “So, I hear you’ve got a date tonight.”

His hands jerked and pennies spilled onto the floor. “You what? How?”

She bent down to help him pick up the scattered change. “Oh, please. There are no secrets in this store! You might as well get used to it.”

He picked up the last of the money, stood abruptly, and fled.

Sophia stared after him, intrigued.

***

 

Jensen was taking far too long to close out the tills. He kept making mistakes and having to redo things because he was so nervous about Jared he couldn’t stay focused. He didn’t even know what he’d been thinking, accepting that invitation.

He wanted to just call and cancel, but then he realized he didn’t have Jared’s phone number. After all, they’d only met yesterday. Which was why this was crazy and Jensen should just call the whole thing off. He could just tell Jared he was too tired to go out. Apologize for wasting his time and flee back to his lonely, safe apartment.

His course of action decided, Jensen managed to finish his work quickly. He shoved the last till into the safe and shut the door with a dull clang. He grabbed his jacket quickly and hurried to meet Eric at the front door. Usually everyone else had gone home by the time the counting down was done, so Jensen was surprised to see Chris chatting with Eric when he walked up.

“All right, time to go home,” Eric said.

“Definitely,” Jensen agreed.

“Oh really? I heard you had plans,” Chris said.

“Yeah, um—“

“Not thinking of canceling are you?” Chris asked pointedly, pitching his voice low enough that only Jensen could hear him.

Jensen was puzzled for a moment, then realization hit him. “Steve?”

“Asked me to see you safely on your way,” Chris confirmed, grinning cheekily, “Embarrassing pictures with corsages and bad hair optional.”

“Sneaky bastard. Tell him I’ll kill him later.”

Chris laughed as they walked out the door. “Doubtful. He always manages to talk his way out of capital offenses. Oh, hey Jared! Jensen was just telling me how much he’s looking forward to going out with you, weren’t you, Jensen?”

Jensen smiled tightly. “Yeah, absolutely.” He leaned in close to Chris’ ear and whispered while holding his grin, “I just added a name to my hit list.”

“Me too!” Jared enthused, nearly tripping over his long limbs as he came around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for Jensen. “See ya, Chris!”

Chris waved. “You crazy kids have fun. I’ve got a hot blond waiting for me at home.”

Jared laughed and Jensen groaned, clapping a hand over his eyes. Then he turned back to Jared, who was still holding the door open for him. He melted a little bit at the gesture, so silly yet sweet.

“You ready?” Jared asked, grinning from ear to ear.

The corner of Jensen’s mouth curved upward. Not hardly, he thought. “Yeah, let’s go,” he said and slid into Jared’s car.


	2. Parts 1-10

 

 **Part 11:**  
  
“Honey, I’m home!” Chris called out as he entered the small, yet comfortable apartment that he and Steve shared. They’d been dating for more than a year, but only living together for a couple of months. He still got a thrill thinking of their home.  
  
Steve came out of the bedroom, crossed the living room and wrapped his arms around Chris’ shoulders, resting their foreheads together. “Hey,” he said softly.  
  
Chris snaked his arms around Steve’s waist and dragged him closer, pressing their hips and torsos together. He angled his head slightly and caught Steve’s lips. They kissed slow and deep, a well-rehearsed dance of lips and tongues.  
  
When they pulled back, Chris whispered, “Hey, yourself.”  
  
Steve dragged him over to the couch and they settled down with Chris between Steve’s legs, leaning back against his chest. Chris sighed in contentment.  
  
“Jensen make it okay?” Steve asked, combing his fingers through Chris’ hair.  
  
“Yeah. You were right, though. He did try to bolt.”  
  
“Thought so.”  
  
“I walked him right out to Jared. We’re both on his hit list, by the way.”  
  
Steve chuckled and Chris listened to the pleasant rumble it made in his chest. “Jen’s murderous intentions are usually short-lived.”  
  
“Well, then, if we don’t need to be fleeing for our lives, I can think of better ways to spend our time.”  
  
“Oh, really? Like what?”  
  
Chris twisted himself around so that he was facing Steve and then pressed him down into the couch cushions. “Like this,” he said, nipping Steve’s lower lip. “And this.” He licked a stripe up Steve’s neck from the hollow at the base of his throat to just behind his ear, smiling at the resulting shiver of pleasure. “And this.” He settled back at Steve’s lips, kissing him slowly and thoroughly.  
  
Gradually the kiss turned from lazy to hungry. Steve was arching up under him and Chris could feel him getting hard—feel them both, actually. With an almost pained sound, he pulled back long enough to pull his shirt up over his head and help Steve off with his as well.  
  
Chris ran his hands almost feather-light down Steve’s chest. He never ceased to be amazed at his luck in finding a guy like Steve. Not only was he gorgeous, he was pretty much the most insightful, kindest person Chris had ever met. In his less secure moments he sometimes wondered what someone like that saw in him. Even then, though, he couldn’t doubt that Steve did love him. It was right there for everyone to see and Chris wouldn’t have it any other way.  
  
He leaned down and pressed a hard, swift kiss to Steve’s lips. “I love you,” he said.  
  
Steve smiled, warm and bright and without pretense. “Yeah, you too.”  
  
Chris grinned and proceeded to kiss and lick his way down Steve’s chest, reveling in the way his boyfriend writhed and moaned beneath him. He wasted little time doing away with the denim that stood between him and his goal. He pushed Steve’s jeans and boxers down his thighs and stroked his cock from the base to the tip, running his thumb over the head.  
  
Steve bucked up at the contact. Chris leaned down, bracing one arm across his hips and wrapping his other hand around the base of his cock. He proceeded to lick up and down the shaft teasingly. When Steve was practically whimpering from the teasing contact, he took his cock fully into his mouth and sucked hard.  
  
As he bobbed his head up and down, he let his hand wander from the base of the shaft, down around his balls, scraping along his inner thighs and finally behind to press against his entrance.  
  
This proved to be Steve’s undoing and seconds later he was coming in hot spurts against the back of Chris’ throat. Chris kept sucking him through the aftershocks until he was totally dry. Then he crawled up Steve’s chest and kissed him messily. Steve wound his arms around him, holding him close and plundering his mouth for the taste of his own come.  
  
Then he pressed his mouth against Chris’ ear and whispered, “Let’s go to bed, baby. I wanna return the favor.”  
  
Chris approved of that plan wholeheartedly. Steve laughed as he was dragged off the couch and into the bedroom at record-breaking speed.  
  
 **Part 12:**  
  
Jensen watched Jared dig into a stack of pancakes as tall as he was in fascinated horror. “Where do you put it all?” he asked.  
  
Jared shot him a slightly sticky grin. “Hollow leg,” he said with a wink.  
  
Jensen giggled, covering his mouth with his hand as he did.  
  
Jared impulsively reached across the table and grabbed his hand, pulling it away from his face. “You shouldn’t cover up your smile,” he said.  
  
Green eyes caught on hazel and held for a long moment. Jensen felt the blush rising in his cheeks and dropped his gaze. His eyes fell on Jared’s hand still holding his. It made him feel like his skin was on too tight, but somehow in a good way. He pulled his hand back, but shot Jared a half smile to try to let him know it wasn’t a bad thing.  
  
Loaded silence stretched between them for another moment before Jared jumped back in. “So, how are you liking LA?”  
  
Jensen chuckled. “It’s huge and noisy and crowded. I like it. It’s easy to disappear.” He hadn’t really meant to say that last bit. He wished he could stuff the words back into his mouth.  
  
“Why would you want to disappear?” Jared seemed genuinely dismayed.  
  
Jensen shrugged, regretting that he had to try to explain himself. “It’s not that hard,” he said, knowing that was less than helpful, but not really up to going into his whole, pathetic story.  
  
“But you’re so . . . I don’t know, something.” He got a pained look on his face as he realized how incoherent he sounded and hid his face with his hands.  
  
Jensen mirrored Jared’s earlier action, reaching over and pulling Jared’s hands away from his face. Jared looked from their joined hands to Jensen’s face. The air was heavy between them.  
  
“You wanna get out of here?” Jared asked, “Go somewhere and talk?”  
  
“We’re talking now,” Jensen pointed out.  
  
“Yeah, but restaurants are so weird. Just when you’re in the middle of saying something really important the waitress comes up and asks if you need a refill. You know?”  
  
Jensen smiled, nodding in agreement. “Okay, let’s go.”  
  
Jared beamed and called for the check.   
  
 **Part 13:**  
  
They drove around for a while with no real direction or plan. It was around 1 am and even in LA the traffic had slacked of a little bit. Jared talked animatedly and at great length about nothing in particular. Jensen mostly laughed and listened while Jared bounced from topic to topic, touching on work, his annoying little sister, college and the restorative power of sugar.  
  
Eventually they ended up in Manhattan Beach. It was a quaint little shopping district right on the waterfront with a pier stretching out over the sand into the water. Everything there closed around six, so it was totally deserted this late.  
  
Jared pulled into a parking space overlooking the ocean and looked over at Jensen. “Wanna take a walk on the beach?” he asked, smiling expectantly and almost bouncing in his seat.  
  
Jensen couldn’t help but grin back. “Yeah, all right.”  
  
They made their way down to the beach by way of a rickety set of wooden stairs, leaving their socks and shoes at street level. They continued toward the water until they reached sand that was firm and smooth from the waves and started walking down the beach with the ocean beside them.  
  
Jared seemed to have talked himself out for the moment and the only sound was the constant crashing of the waves. The silence between them was comfortable and Jensen let himself enjoy the simple act of companionship.  
  
When they’d been walking for a few minutes, Jared suddenly stopped. Jensen got a few steps ahead of him, then turned around, tilting his head questioningly. In answer, Jared held out his hand. Jensen stared at it for a moment while arguments and counter-arguments passed through his mind at dizzying speeds. He firmly quieted them all, telling himself it wasn’t a big deal and he should just go with the flow. He reached out and took Jared’s hand with his own, twining their fingers together.  
  
Jared grinned that huge, blindingly bright grin of his and they continued on down the beach. He swung their joined hands back and forth slightly in not-quite-restrained exuberance. A little while after that he started running the pad of his thumb over the back of Jensen’s hand.  
  
Jensen had to give his downstairs brain a stern talking to at that moment. There was no way that simple caress should have been as much of a turn on as it was. But then, everything about Jared seemed to skip right past Jensen’s carefully erected defenses right into the center of himself.  
  
Eventually they turned around and made their way back to the parking lot, having picked up some sand for their efforts. They elected to carry their shoes, rather than ruin them. At the car, Jared once again ran to grab Jensen’s door.  
  
Jensen was right there beside him, reaching for the handle at the same moment. They laughed at the near collision, then suddenly the laughter died as they realized how close they were. Their eyes met and an electric current stretched between them.  
  
Jared leaned down and, before Jensen even had a chance to think about it, pressed their lips together. He froze for a second, but the unbelievable sensation of Jared’s lips on his overwhelmed everything else and he kissed back with a desperate hunger that surprised him.  
  
His shoes hit the asphalt with a dull thud and he clutched the front of Jared’s shirt to hold him close. Jared groaned low in his throat and wound his arms around Jensen’s waist, pulling him in. His body was fizzing with the contact overload as they explored the contours of lips and tongues.  
  
They lost a couple of minutes in each other’s mouths, then there was a slide and shift of hips and Jensen realized Jared was hard—and so was he. Suddenly overwhelming good was overwhelming bad and Jensen pushed against Jared’s chest, desperate for space. Jared released him and he stumbled a couple of steps backwards, breathing hard.  
  
The panic subsided quickly and he forced himself to look at Jared, his eyes full of embarrassment and apology. Jared was watching him with confused concern.  
  
“Are you okay?” he asked, “Did I do something?”  
  
Jensen bit his lip and tried to come up with something approaching a reasonable explanation. “No, Jared, it’s just—I like you, but—“  
  
“But,” Jared repeated and sighed heavily. He looked like a kicked puppy and Jensen’s heart clenched at the thought that he had caused that. He couldn’t make it better though. Not right now.  
  
“This is just really fast, okay? Can we take a step back? Go a little slower?”  
  
A glimmer of hope came into Jared’s eyes. He nodded tentatively. “Yeah, okay.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Despite their tentative reconciliation, the drive back to Jensen’s car was tense and mostly silent. As he climbed out, Jensen looked back at Jared. “I had a really good time tonight,” he offered, like a white flag.  
  
Jared’s tense smile was a mere shadow of his usual grin. Jensen internally cursed himself up one side and down the other. Why did he have to have more baggage than an overnight Greyhound anyway? He huffed out a frustrated breath. “Goodnight, Jared.”  
  
At the last second, he impulsively reached out and squeezed Jared’s shoulder. Jared looked surprised and offered him a real smile, although still smaller than usual.  
  
“Good night, Jensen.”   
  
 **Part 14:**  
  
Over the next few weeks Jensen settled in at Channing and Weston. He got to know his co-workers better, both their work habits and their personalities. If it were up to him, he probably would have kept things strictly professional and been a hermit in his personal time. Jared, however, had other ideas.  
  
Jensen got dragged into being social whether he liked it or not (though he secretly kinda liked it) because Jared was convinced that everyone needed the level of social interaction that he did. At first he tried protesting, claiming to be too tired, but Jared wouldn’t have it so he finally surrendered, following along bemusedly whenever Jared bounced up and said, “We’re going out!”  
  
They attended several more of Mike’s parties and Jensen became a frequent visitor at Jared and Chad’s place where he developed an unhealthy addiction to Guitar Hero. They went out with the gang after work—and then went out alone. Their dates were totally innocent, not proceeding past handholding and chaste pecks, but if Jensen was honest, the sexual tension was about to kill him. He was still scared, though. He was coming to trust Jared, but he wasn’t totally there yet.  
  
Jared was his entrée into the C&W social circle, so to speak, but it wasn’t long before he was making friends in his own right. And there was Steve, of course. But he and Chris kind of made up their own little circle. They came to Mike’s parties reasonably often, but Jensen had taken to teasing Steve about “the old ball and chain.” Steve laughed and called him a bitch when he did, but he also blushed and looked unaccountably pleased. It made Jensen grin just thinking about it. He was happy his friend had found someone who recognized how great he was.  
  
People started telling Jensen secrets. He heard all the gossip of course, but people also told him stuff they really didn’t want anyone knowing. He suspected he was the only person in the whole store who could actually keep a secret. And he knew the difference between “Now don’t tell anyone I told you this, but . . .” and “Please don’t tell anyone this.”  
  
One night Jared was home with a head cold. Jensen offered to do the whole chicken soup treatment, but it turned out the one time Jared really wanted to be alone was when he was sick. Without any plans for the evening, he somehow ended up at a little dive of a bar with Jeff and Mike. It was pretty quiet; almost just them and the bartender. Of course, it was Tuesday night. Jensen was endlessly amused at the meaninglessness of things like days of the week when you worked retail.  
  
Other people had been invited on their little drinking excursion. In fact, Mike had announced it over the PA system after closing, but Jeff and Jensen had been the only takers. Jensen couldn’t help noticing that Jeff had been tense all night. Mike seemed totally oblivious, acting his usual, hyper kindergartener self.  
  
So when Mike took himself off to the bathroom, Jensen pounced on the opportunity. “Hey, man. Something going on between you and Mike?”  
  
Jeff snorted bitterly. “No,” he said emphatically, “There is nothing going on between me and Mike.”  
  
Jensen raised his eyebrows. “Really? Cause you seem a little . . . uptight.”  
  
Jeff downed the last of his drink and slammed the glass onto the bar. “You know what? I’m gonna call it a night. See you at work, Jensen.” And with that he slid off his stool and left.  
  
Jensen was still gaping afterward, realization sinking in, when Mike came back.  
  
“Hey, where’s Jeff?” he asked.  
  
“Umm, he had to go,” Jensen improvised badly, tearing his gaze away from the door to look at Mike.  
  
Mike shrugged agreeably. “Just you and me, then, buddy,” he said, clapping Jensen heartily on the shoulder.  
  
Jensen shrugged. “Guess so.”  
  
For a little while they talked aimlessly, mostly about work, while nursing their drinks slowly. At some point, Mike dropped into silence and Jensen felt its significance. He waited.  
  
“So, Jensen. Friend. Buddy.”  
  
“Uh, yes?”  
  
“I hear you knew Tom. Like, before you got here.”  
  
Jensen felt the floor drop out from underneath him, but he tried to stay steady. “Yeah. In college,” he replied, cringing at the strain he could hear in his own voice.  
  
“Well, umm, just between us? I kinda like him. Like, a lot. And I was wondering. Do you think he’d be interested?”  
  
It was a good thing Jensen hadn’t been taking a drink at the time because he definitely would have choked. In fact, he kind of managed to choke a little bit anyway. Mike clapped him on the back. “Hey, easy there.”  
  
Jensen held his hand up to indicate he was okay and took a couple of deep breaths. “Listen, Mike,” he said, “I’m really sorry, but Tom’s straight. Always has been.”  
  
Mike’s face fell for an instant before he tried to disguise it, smiling tightly. “No, no, yeah, I figured. Of course.”  
  
“I’m sure there’s someone else for you,” Jensen said, trying to be encouraging, “And seriously? You’re better off without him. Trust me.”  
  
They finished their drinks, but it was clear the evening was over. After a few more minutes, they called it a night and parted ways to go home.  
  
Later, lying in bed soaking up the dark and silence, Jensen threw an arm over his face and groaned. He liked the people here, but the drama and the secrets were about to kill him. Love triangle? Please, that was kid’s stuff. This was more like a Gordian knot and a labyrinth rolled into one, full of tangles and dead ends with a howling beast or two hiding in the middle.  
  
 **Part 15:**  
  
The night that Jeff finally gave in and came to one of Mike’s parties was, coincidentally, also the night that Mike finally realized Tom was never going to want him. He was already four or five sheets to the wind by the time Jeff arrived, crying on Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen was patting him awkwardly, while shooting longing glances over his head. Jeff followed the direction of his gaze and was unsurprised to see Jared.  
  
His heart clenched at the pitiful look on Mike’s face. He walked over and tapped Jensen on the shoulder. Jensen looked up and Jeff leaned down to whisper so only he could hear, “You go on. I’ll take care of him.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“Yeah. Looks like you and your boy could use some alone time.”  
  
Jensen flushed right up to the roots of his hair. “Umm, yeah, okay. See ya later!”  
  
Jeff slide right into Jensen’s vacated spot. Mike looked up at him, squinting in confusion. “Jeff?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“You finally came.”  
  
Jeff nodded. “Yep, and it looks like it’s a good thing I did. What’s going on with you? I know you like to drink, but not like this.”  
  
“He’s straight.”  
  
“Who, Tom?”  
  
Mike nodded miserably. “Him and Allie are official. A real couple.” He made a disgusted noise.  
  
Jeff threw an arm around Mike’s shoulders, pulling him in and letting him tuck his head into the space between his neck and shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay.”  
  
Mike only responded with a muffled sob.  
  
“Hey, let’s get you to bed, huh? You don’t need to do this in front of everybody, right?”  
  
Mike sniffed and nodded, biddable like a child. Jeff helped him to his feet and walked him to his bedroom. He shut the door and guided Mike over to the end of the bed. They sat down and Mike just stared at his hands for a few moments. Mike blew a breath out through pursed lips, feeling awkward. “So, do you want to talk or just go on to bed?”  
  
Mike brought his head up and looked Jeff in the eye properly for the first time that night. “Don’t wanna talk,” he said, suddenly intense.  
  
Jeff barely had time to register confusion at the sudden mood shift when Mike’s mouth was on his, searching and hungry. He froze in shock at the unforeseen turn of events. Then, as soon as he formed a semi-coherent thought, he shoved Mike backwards.  
  
Mike whined in protest and tried to pull him back, but Jeff held him at arm’s length. “Mike, stop it. You’ll regret this in the morning,” he said, his voice hard.  
  
Mike’s shoulders slumped at that. “Please, Jeff. I just.” He sighed. “I just don’t wanna be alone, you know?”  
  
Jeff knew he should be a stronger person. Knew there was no way this could end well. But he’d wanted this so much for so long and here it was on a silver platter. He growled low in his throat in frustration. There was time enough for regret tomorrow. Tonight he leaned in, pulled Mike to him, and kissed him deep and hard. He tasted like alcohol and tears and Jeff couldn’t get enough.  
  
They pulled back to breathe and Jeff reached over and tugged Mike’s shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. His own followed quickly after. They came back together and Jeff felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire from the intensity of the skin on skin contact.  
  
They tumbled backwards on the bed, Jeff pressing Mike into the mattress. He pushed one of his thighs in between Mike’s and pushed upwards. Mike angled his hips to take advantage of the friction.  
  
“Jeff, please, need you inside. Will you—?”  
  
All the blood left in his brain made a quick detour southward at that, effectively postponing any philosophical thoughts, or thoughts at all, until a later date. He nodded and they made quick, if clumsy, work of their remaining clothing.  
  
“Do you have—?”  
  
“Bedside table drawer.”  
  
Jeff pulled open the drawer and took out the lube and one of the condoms he found inside. He ripped open the foil package and slid the latex onto his aching cock. Then he turned his attention to prepping Mike.  
  
Mike was lying back with his knees drawn up and spread open, waiting. The sight of him so exposed and trusting was nearly Jeff’s undoing. He felt Mike’s eyes on him and he spread lube on his fingers and reached down.  
  
He pressed the first finger into the tight warmth and Mike gasped. Jeff worked slowly and carefully, finding the spot that made Mike arch and cry out and hitting it repeatedly as he worked in two fingers, then three.  
  
When he felt that Mike was sufficiently prepped, he pulled his fingers out and slung Mike’s ankles up over his shoulders. He sank slowly and carefully inside, watching Mike’s jaw go slack as he did.  
  
He stroked slow and deliberate at first, but neither of them could take that for long.  
  
“More, harder,” Mike gasped at him.  
  
Jeff was happy to oblige. He thrust harder and faster, reaching in to grasp Mike’s cock and jerk it to the same rhythm. It wasn’t long after that.  
  
He lost any sort of rhythm to his thrusting, slamming into Mike all erratic and needy as Mike arched upward, meeting him every time. Then the world came apart and dissolved into stars.  
  
Afterwards Jeff moved to get up, intending to dress and leave. Mike snaked out and arm and pulled him back with surprising force. “Stay?” he asked.  
  
Jeff sighed and acquiesced, allowing Mike to pull him back against his chest. Mike settled into sleep easily after that.  
  
Jeff didn’t sleep at all. He just stared unblinking into the darkness, feeling every point of contact like a brand.  
  
 **Part 16:**  
  
Jensen looked over his shoulder as he and Jared made their way to the door. “Maybe I should stay with Mike,” he fretted.  
  
Jared laughed and squeezed him around the shoulders. “Looks like Jeff’s got a handle on it,” he said, “Mike’s okay. He bounces back pretty quickly.”  
  
Jensen sighed. “Okay.”  
  
“Now let’s get out of here.”  
  
They went over to Jared’s apartment. Chad was still at the party, and from the way he’d been drinking when they left, it was a safe bet he wouldn’t be home tonight.  
  
Jensen felt at home enough in the apartment by now that he unceremoniously sprawled out on the couch in the living room while Jared walked into the kitchen.  
  
“You want a beer?” Jared called.  
  
“Nah, I think Mikey was doing enough drinking for everybody tonight.  
  
Jared laughed as he entered the living room. “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” He tossed one of the Cokes in his hand to Jensen. Then he sat down next to Jensen, close, but not quite touching.  
  
Jensen leaned forward and placed his unopened soda on the coffee table with a significant air.  
  
Jared looked at him and, catching his serious expression, did the same.  
  
“So, Jared.”  
  
He read a thousand possibilities into those two words in an instant. The one that flashed bright red neon was He’s breaking up with me. He didn’t know what made Jensen so skittish, but it didn’t really matter. It could ruin things for them all the same. He managed a reasonable facsimile of his normal tone when he answered, “Yes?”  
  
Jensen cleared his throat, stalling. “Umm, so I was thinking. You know how we’ve been going slow and all?”  
  
Even in his near-panicked state, Jared was faintly amused. “Yeah, I recall.”  
  
“Well, uh, I was thinking—“ He paused for a long moment while Jared waited on tenterhooks for his fate to be handed to him. “I was thinking maybe we don’t need to go so slow anymore.”  
  
Jared didn’t even try to suppress the smile that spread across his face. “Really?”  
  
Jensen shot him a shy little half smile. “Yeah, really.”  
  
Jared wanted to make sure he understood. “Like, how not slow exactly?”  
  
“Like warp . . . something or other. Eight? I don’t know. The really, really fast one. And why am I even trying to make Star Trek references at a time like—“  
  
Jared cut him off by simultaneously kissing him and tackling him onto the couch cushions. Jensen laughed joyfully into his mouth, responding eagerly. They explored each other with lips and tentative, searching fingers.  
  
It was amazing, far better than it should be, just necking on the couch like teenagers, but Jared could feel the pressure between them building. His hormones were demanding more and if Jensen’s little hitching gasps were any indication, he was on the same page.  
  
Jared kissed his way up Jensen’s jaw to his ear and whispered, “Bedroom?”  
  
Jensen nodded emphatically and Jared pulled him up to his feet. He hooked two fingers behind Jensen’s belt buckle and dragged him towards the bedroom. Once there, he kicked the door shut behind them. Then he wrapped his arms around Jensen and kissed him again, relishing the sounds he made deep in his throat.  
  
Jensen reached around and tugged their hips together. The feeling of their erections rubbing together through layers of denim had Jared making some noises of his own. After that their clothes didn’t last long.  
  
They lay back on the sheets, kissing again and letting hands wander to new locations. Jensen pulled back just a fraction. “Hey, Jared?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Umm, we didn’t really talk about this, but could I maybe top? I, er, usually bottom, but this time? If it’s okay.”  
  
Jared held him tightly, wanting to erase whatever had put that wounded wild creature look in Jensen’s eyes. “Yeah, of course. It’s, uh, been awhile, but yeah.”  
  
Jensen nodded, looking relieved.  
  
Jared started kissing down his chest. He grazed his teeth along the collar bones, then teased Jensen’s nipples in turn, circling them with his tongue. He placed open mouthed kisses and light bites across the well defined planes of his stomach. Before venturing lower, he cast his eyes up. “Okay?” he asked.  
  
“Yeah, definitely.”  
  
Jared licked at Jensen’s cock lightly at first. Encouraged by the positive response he got to that, he took as much as he could into his mouth and sucked hard, creating a delicious friction.  
  
After only a few moments, Jensen pulled him back up. “Won’t last long like that,” he whispered.  
  
Jared blushed. He leaned over and fumbled through the mess in his nightstand. He hadn’t had much cause lately for what he was looking for now. After a moment he came up with a condom and bottle of lube. He met and held Jensen’s gaze as he handed them to him, trying to put all his trust into that one gesture.  
  
“Okay, so turn over on your side?” Jensen said, making it a question, “It’ll be easier if you haven’t—you know, in a while.”  
  
Jared nodded and followed the suggestion, tucking his knees up. Jensen ran a lube-slick finger down the length of his spine, leaving goose bumps in his wake. Jared felt him press against his entrance, then inside. He sucked in a breath.  
  
“All right?”  
  
“Yeah. Keep going.”  
  
Jensen opened him up with the utmost care, making sure that Jared was ready as he added a second finger and then a third. Soon Jared was whining and thrusting back onto Jensen’s fingers. “I’m ready,” he gasped.  
  
Jensen pulled his fingers out and for a minute Jared felt empty. Then Jensen was pressing himself warmly against Jared’s back and guiding his cock inside. He worked his way in slowly, pausing often to let Jared’s body adjust. Finally he sank in that last fraction of an inch. They both exhaled and just stayed for a moment. Jared savored the feeling of fullness—completeness.  
  
Soon, though, the tension was too much and they started moving. Jensen changed the angle subtly on each thrust until he hit a spot inside that had Jared practically seeing stars. “There. Like that.”  
  
Jensen reached around and grasped Jared’s cock, stroking firmly to the rhythm of his thrusting. He was panting hotly against Jared’s shoulder. The combined sensations overwhelmed him and Jared came hard, spurting into Jensen’s hand. He twisted his head awkwardly to swallow Jensen’s cry as he followed him over the edge.  
  
They clung together for long minutes afterwards, letting their breathing slow back down to normal. Jared didn’t want to move, but he finally groaned and said, “We should clean up.”  
  
Jensen made an absolutely adorable whimpering sound. “Don’t wanna.”  
  
Jared laughed, low in his throat. “Yeah, me neither, but we’ll be sorry in the morning if we don’t.”  
  
“Morning, huh?”  
  
Jared twisted around so he was face to face with Jensen. He kissed him until he got another one of those whimpers. Then he pulled back just far enough to be able to focus on Jensen’s face. “Yeah, if you know what’s good for you,” he teased.  
  
Jared watched a completely unguarded smile spread over Jensen’s face like the sunrise and thought that maybe, from now on, everything would be wonderful.  
  
 **Part 17:**  
  
Mike woke up to a brave new world. But not the bad kind like that really depressing book, oh no, the amazingly good kind. His memories of the night before were quite sharp, considering the amount of alcohol he’d consumed. He clutched his pillow to his head, remembering.  
  
He couldn’t believe he’d been hung up on Tom for so long. How could he never have noticed the smoking hotness of Jeff? Jeff was unbelievable. Jeff was amazing. Jeff was—he reached a hand out toward the other side of the bed—gone.  
  
Mike was concerned that Jeff had left without waking him, but he wasn’t one to panic without cause. There were lots of perfectly reasonable explanations for that. He was probably working today and needed to get changed. Mike had the day off, but when most of your friends worked at the same place, somebody always had to be at work the next day.  
  
With that cheering explanation settled upon, Mike swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. At which point his over-indulgence of the night before made itself known. He groaned, clutching his head until the room settled back into its proper shape. Moving more carefully, he stood and made his way to the bathroom.  
  
A few cups of coffee and a lot of careful grooming later, Mike drove over to C&W. As he walked inside he tried to calm the swarm of fluttery insects that had taken up residence in his stomach. He walked over to the music department, but Steve was the only one there.  
  
“Hey, Steve. Where’s Jeff?” he asked, striving for casual.  
  
Steve looked up from the mountain of CD’s on the counter. “Out sick. So of course today is the day we get fifteen boxes of shipment. I hope he’s okay. I mean usually he drags himself in even if he’s on death’s door. We have to beg him to leave so the rest of us don’t get the plague. He must be feeling really awful.”  
  
Mike blinked, trying to process that. Unless Jeff had come down with some kind of extremely aggressive virus in the last seven hours or so, he wasn’t sick. He never called out even when he was sick. Mike wasn’t sure what was going on, but his resolution not to panic was taking a serious hit.  
  
“Uh, yeah, he must be. I think I’ll go check on him. See ya later.”  
  
He strode out of the store, hands in his pockets and head down. He was so focused on his worries about Jeff that he didn’t even hear the couple of people who called out greetings to him.  
  
***  
  
  
Sandy handed Chris his latte as they watched Mike leave with a nearly visible cloud of gloom hanging over his head.  
  
“Wow, what’s eating him?” she asked. She had hardly ever seen Mike in any other mood but super hyper and cheerful.  
  
Chris shook his head. “Wish I knew. Well, I think I’m going to go comfort my boyfriend in his hour of need. Or, you know, point and laugh at all the work he has to do while I’m off.”  
  
Sandy slapped his arm lightly. “You’re so mean!”  
  
“Nah, just teasing. I wouldn’t do that. Especially if I ever want to get laid again. Speaking of, it looks like Kristen could use someone to talk to.”  
  
Sandy’s eyes widened. “Chris, I can’t!”  
  
“Why not? You never know till you ask, right?”  
  
“But what if she says no?”  
  
“Then she says no. What if she says yes?”  
  
She tilted her head to the side and made a noise of protest. Chris just gestured toward the information desk where Kristen was sifting through a pile of books almost as tall as she was with not a customer in sight. “Go on, Sands.”  
  
“Ugh, okay already! Sure you don’t need to frog march me over there?”  
  
“I think you’ll be all right from here.”  
  
She raised her voice. “Sophia! I’m taking my break!” Then she took off her apron and walked across the store. Chris’ eyes on her were the only thing keeping her from chickening out.  
  
“Hey, Kristen!” she greeted brightly.  
  
There was a squeal and the badly balanced stack of books toppled over. “Jesus, Sandy! You scared the hell out of me!”  
  
“Oh, god, sorry! Here, let me help you with those.”  
  
They knelt down, gathering the scattered books back together. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that,” Kristen said.  
  
Sandy laughed. “I wasn’t like hiding behind bookshelves or something. You just weren’t paying attention.”  
  
“Fair enough.”  
  
“So, listen, I kinda wanted to ask you something.”  
  
“Sure, what’s up?”  
  
“Well,” Sandy bit her lip nervously, then forced herself to take the plunge. “I was wondering if you might want to do something sometime. Umm, dinner, movie—?”  
  
Kristen stopped what she was doing. “Are you asking me on a date?”  
  
“Umm, yes?” Sandy ducked her head, nearly dreading the answer.  
  
“Well, in that case I would love to. Friday. Pick me up at eight.”  
  
Sandy blinked. “Wait, really?”  
  
Kristen rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah. I’d be an idiot to turn down a hottie like you, right?”  
  
Sandy blushed. “Uh, I guess I’ll see you Friday then.”  
  
Kristen grinned. “I guess you will.”  
  
***  
  
  
Jeff lived in a small house in an affordable, but not too scary part of town. It was a bit run down, but well kept. The care he put into his place was obvious. Mike stood on the porch, shifting from one foot to the other. After taking a long moment to gather his courage, he knocked.  
  
He heard movement inside, but no answer, so he tried again. “Jeff. I can hear you. Will you please answer the door?”  
  
There was more noise, including what sounded like muffled cursing. A minute later the door cracked open. Truth be told Jeff wasn’t looking that good. His hair was uncombed and he hadn’t shaved. And Mike smelled the whiskey on his breath immediately.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I came to see if you were okay. They said you called in sick, but, umm, you weren’t sick last night, so—“  
  
“I’m fine. Real nice of you to come by.” Jeff started to shut the door, but Mike put out a hand to stop him.  
  
“Jeff, wait. I wanted to talk to you about last night. About us.”  
  
Jeff laughed humorlessly. “Look, Mike, I get it. You were drunk and depressed and I was there. Happens to the best of us. No hard feelings.”  
  
“But—“  
  
“It’s nice of you to think you need to apologize, but it’s not necessary. I’ll see you at work.”  
  
Mike barely managed to pull his hand out of the way before Jeff slammed the door shut. He stared at the uncompromising wood, dumbfounded. “But I wasn’t coming to apologize,” he told it.  
  
He banged on the door, calling for Jeff to answer for several more minutes, but there was no more response. Finally he gave up and got back in his car. He didn’t know what he’d done or hadn’t done, but he was going to fix it. Jeff might be able to hide in his house now, but he had to come to work eventually. When he did, Mike would be waiting.  
  
 **Part 18:**  
  
Jensen woke up wrapped in Jared. He took a moment to just breathe in the happiness of that feeling. When he was sure he had it imprinted on his memory, he opened his eyes. Jared was watching him with sleepy eyes and a slight smile.  
  
“Hey, you’re awake,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Jensen’s lips.  
  
“You too.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m kind of an early riser.” He looked chagrined when Jensen made a disgusted face. “Can’t really be helped. But I didn’t want to wake you.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“So, you work today?”  
  
“Nah, you?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ve got the closing shift. But that gives us a good—“ he craned his neck to look at the clock, “Four hours, Rip van Winkle.”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
“Just kidding . . . Sleeping Beauty.”  
  
Jensen shoved playfully at his shoulder. Jared retaliated by tickling his ribs until he was giggling and helplessly begging for mercy. Then he stilled, leaning over Jensen, their faces barely an inch apart. He ducked down and stole a quick kiss. Then he stole a longer one.  
  
When the kiss started getting a little more heated, Jared pulled back with another quick peck. “So, this is kind of my last set of clean sheets,” he said with an apologetic grimace, “You wanna . . . move this to the shower?”  
  
Jensen grinned. “Absolutely.”  
  
***  
  
  
Chris was perched on the counter watching Steve sift through the last of the shipment. “You know,” he said, “Jeff sure didn’t look sick at Mike’s party last night.”  
  
Steve snorted. “No, he looked more like he was hooking up with Mike.”  
  
“Who he’s been in love with for pretty much ever.”  
  
“But Mike’s in love with Tom.”  
  
“Who’s the most tragic closet case I’ve ever seen.”  
  
“Aww, come on. He could be bi.”  
  
Chris rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. And Cher’s never had plastic surgery.”  
  
Steve nodded, conceding the point. “You know, Mike didn’t seem too hung up on Tom when he came in earlier.”  
  
“Yeah, saw him blow outta here like an ill wind. What’s with that?”  
  
“He came in asking about Jeff and when I told him he was sick, he said he was going to check on him.”  
  
“Huh.”  
  
“Jeff’s a good guy. We should help him out if we can.”  
  
“Since when did we become the fairy godmothers around this nuthouse?”  
  
“Emphasis on fairy? I dunno. Ever since I’m a nice person who wants to help my friends out and my boyfriend really wants to have sex again in the next . . . ever?”  
  
“Right. Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo it is!”  
  
“That’s the spirit.”   
  
 **Part 19:**  
  
Jared was extremely reluctant to go to work. He came back for extra kisses twice before Jensen finally shoved him towards his car, laughing that he wasn’t going to be responsible for Jared losing his job.  
  
It had been a couple of hours and Jared still couldn’t keep the goofy grin off his face. When he took his first break, he ran into Steve on his way home.  
  
“Hey,” Steve greeted, “Looks like someone got laid last night.”  
  
Jared promptly turned bright red and gaped like a fish out of water. “But—but, how could you know that?”  
  
“Dude, you’re glowing so bright you’re practically blinding the customers. It’s pretty obvious.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it. They’re all jealous ‘cause it had to be good to leave you looking like that.”  
  
“Um.”  
  
“Just so we’re clear, you hurt him and I will introduce you to a whole new level of pain, okay?” Steve’s voice was perfectly level and pleasant and Jared was more than a little terrified. He was also really sure of his intentions.  
  
“He’s safe with me,” he said seriously.  
  
Steve nodded. “That’s what I thought. You never woulda gotten near him otherwise.” He grinned and clapped Jared on the back. “See ya later!”  
  
Jared stared after him, shaking his head.  
  
When he walked back out after his break, he was blindsided by a tiny, blonde blur.  
  
“Oh my God! You’re not gonna believe it!”  
  
“Whoa, Kristen, take a breath! Not gonna believe what?”  
  
“Guess who I’m going out with on Friday!”  
  
“Uh, Brad Pitt?”  
  
“Ew. I don’t do cock as you very well know.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Well go on and tell me before you explode or something.”  
  
“Sandy! She asked me out today. I totally played it cool, but—oh. My. God.”  
  
Jared grinned. “Kristen, that’s awesome!” He spontaneously picked up his tiny friend and twirled her around.  
  
She shrieked. “Jared, put me down! I’m serious!”  
  
He laughed and complied, setting her on her feet. He knew how long she’d had a crush on Sandy and he was genuinely thrilled that she was getting what she wanted. “This is so great for you,” he said a little more seriously.  
  
“Thanks, Jay.”  
  
Jared leaned down impulsively, intending to kiss her cheek. At just that second, a sound distracted her and she turned her head so the kiss landed on her lips instead.  
  
***  
  
  
Jensen was restless after Jared left for work. He was full of happy energy and not quite sure what to do with himself. He finally decided to go see Jared. He could bring him lunch as a pathetically transparent excuse to see him.  
  
When he walked into the store, he saw Jared talking to Kristen at the info desk. He was about to call out a greeting when Jared picked her up and spun her around. Jensen felt rooted to the spot as he watched the scene unfold. It seemed like it was happening in slow motion.  
  
Jared swung her around and then put her down. He was smiling at her with the smile that Jensen thought of as being just for him. And then. Then he leaned down and kissed her.  
  
The world snapped back into real time and Jensen’s legs were acting for his self-preservation before his brain was even aware of the plan, turning him around and taking him outside. He was moving, but inside he felt frozen. He just couldn’t believe it was happening again.  
  
***  
  
  
“Oh, wow, sorry!” Jared exclaimed.  
  
Kristen laughed. “No big deal. I know you want me,” she teased. Something caught her eye and she looked towards the entrance. “Hey, was that Jensen?”  
  
Jared followed her gaze, already feeling the goofy grin starting again. Sure enough, Jensen was just walking out the door. “Yeah, it is.” That was a little weird. Why wouldn’t he come say hi? Jared jogged toward the door.  
  
He made it outside just in time to see Jensen getting into his car.  
  
“Jensen! Hey, Jen!” he called, smiling expectantly.  
  
Jensen turned stormy eyes on him. “Leave me alone, Jared,” he said coldly, but with a noticeable tremor in his voice.  
  
“What? Jen, wait!”  
  
But Jensen shut his car door and started the ignition.  
  
“Jensen!” Jared yelled, knowing it was useless as he watched Jensen drive away. He stood on the sidewalk, staring, long after the car was out of sight. He wished he had any idea what had just happened.  
  
 **Part 20:**  
  
Steve woke up groggy and disoriented. He lifted his head off Chris’ chest just far enough to stare at the clock until the red blur resolved itself into numbers. 1:02. He groaned and dropped his head back down, intending to go back to sleep. Then he realized what had woken him in the first place as the banging on the door resumed.  
  
Grumbling, he rolled over and got out of bed. After some fumbling in the dark, he found his discarded jeans and pulled them on. “Somebody had better be dying,” he mumbled and yanked open the door. He blinked hard a couple of times when he saw Jared standing there, his fist still raised in anticipation of his next knock. “Shouldn’t you be fucking my best friend right about now?” he asked, then realized he wasn’t quite awake enough for his filter to kick in.  
  
Jared sucked in a breath and then said, “Okay, don’t kill me.”  
  
“Oh, this isn’t going to be good. What happened?”  
  
“I don’t know! He won’t talk to me.”  
  
“Jensen?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Steve stepped back and gestured for Jared to come in. “Okay, come on and sit down. Now take a breath and tell me what you do know.”  
  
They settled down on the couch and Jared did as instructed.  
  
“Well, I was at work. I was just messing around with Kristen. Jensen came in, but I didn’t see him right away. Then he left without talking to me. I followed him and he told me to leave him alone. I don’t know what happened!”  
  
Jared looked absolutely wrecked. There wasn’t much to his story, but Steve took a stab in the dark.  
  
“Okay, define ‘messing around.’”  
  
“Uh, she was really excited because Sandy finally asked her out. So I picked her up and spun her around. You know, just playing. And then I—“ he paled. “I kind of accidentally kissed her.”  
  
“Jared.” Steve’s voice took on a dangerous tone. “How exactly do you accidentally kiss someone?”  
  
“It wasn’t like that! Jesus, Steve. You know Kristen’s like 107% lesbian. I meant to kiss her on the cheek and she turned her head at the wrong moment. That’s it.”  
  
“Oh, shit.” Steve buried his face in his hands, thinking he wasn’t nearly awake enough for this. “Listen, Jared. It’s not your fault, but you can’t talk to Jen right now. Just go home. I’ll call you later, okay?”  
  
“Wait, why?”  
  
“Look. If you’re serious about Jensen—“  
  
“I am.”  
  
“Then go home and let me handle this for now.”  
  
Jared slumped, defeated. “Okay.”  
  
“Come on. Up.”  
  
Jared dragged himself off the couch and to the door. He turned back to Steve. “This is gonna be okay, right?”  
  
Steve sighed. “I don’t know, Jay. I’ll do my best.”  
  
The second the door closed behind Jared, Steve was up and moving. He grabbed the first shirt he could find, stuffed his wallet and cell phone in his pockets and grabbed his keys. Then he scribbled a note to let Chris know where he’d gone and headed for his car.  
  
It was maybe fifteen minutes to Jensen’s apartment in middle of the night traffic. Steve’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel, watching ghosts from the past flash in front of him.  
  
***  
  
  
”Jensen! You here?” Steve called, walking into the small apartment they shared a couple of blocks from campus.  
  
There was a long silence, then Jensen answered. “In here,” he called from his bedroom.  
  
Steve frowned. His voice sounded off. He dropped his bag and made his way to the bedroom. He was shocked by what he found there. Jensen had pulled the comforter off his bed. He was curled in the corner, wrapped up in it, tear streaks marking his face.  
  
Steve was across the room in a couple of strides, dropping to his knees next to his friend. “Jen, what happened?”  
  
Jensen took several shuddering breaths before he managed to speak, his voice thin and wavery. “I—I walked in on Tom . . . fucking someone else.”  
  
Steve felt his face go stony. “I’ll kill him. I’ll kill them both. Who’s the other guy?”  
  
Jensen’s lips trembled and he looked at Steve with wide eyes. “Girl,” he said so low Steve almost didn’t hear, “It was a girl.”  
  
“You’re kidding,” he said, though it was painfully clear that Jensen wasn’t.  
  
He shook his head. “He said he’s straight. Said—said me—us was just—experimenting. Everybody does it in college, he said.”  
  
Shock was clouding Steve’s brain. Jensen and Tom had been together for two years. Sure, Tom had never been that vocal about their relationship, but Steve just figured he was a private person. Showed what he knew.  
  
“What’s wrong with me?” Jensen asked in a small voice.  
  
“Jensen,” Steve said, gripping his shoulders, “I’m pretty sure you’re not the one with the problem here. All right?”  
  
Jensen nodded, but Steve didn’t think he believed him. He sighed. “Okay, Jen. First, ice cream. Then you can help me figure out how I’m going to get away with murdering Tom.”  
  
***  
  
  
It had taken Jensen a really long time to get over Tom and Steve didn’t think he’d ever gotten over the idea that there was something wrong with him. Up until Steve moved away and they lost touch two years ago, Jensen hadn’t progressed past casual dating with anyone. Apparently that hadn’t changed afterwards either.  
  
Steve pulled in at Jensen’s place and put the car in park. He walked up and banged on the door. “Jensen, it’s Steve,” he called, “Come on and open the door.”  
  
After a long moment of silence, he heard the bolt slide free and Jensen cracked the door open. His eyes were puffy and red rimmed.  
  
Steve wrapped his arms around him in a bear hug and held on until Jensen protested that he couldn’t breathe.  
  
“Kristen’s a lesbian, Jen.”  
  
Jensen wrapped his arms around himself and shrugged defensively. “So?”  
  
“Umm, so she wasn’t making a move on Jared this afternoon.”  
  
“Doesn’t mean he wasn’t making a move on her.”  
  
“But he wasn’t! He practically knocked down my door to find out what he’d done when you wouldn’t talk to him. The boy is head over heels for you. He’s not hitting on lesbians.”  
  
“You don’t know that.”  
  
Steve sighed. “Look, Jen. I know that what Tom did to you was shitty, but it was five years ago. And Jared isn’t him. You’ve gotta let it go.”  
  
Jensen mumbled something Steve couldn’t make out.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I said it wasn’t just Tom.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Um, when I told you I hadn’t dated anyone seriously, I . . . kinda lied.”  
  
Steve felt the floor drop out from under him. His guilt over losing touch with Jensen returned, twice as strong as it had been. This was his best friend. He should have known what was going on with him. “Okay, Jen. Talk. Now.”  
  
Jensen followed him meekly over to the couch and they sat. The silence stretched between them until Steve thought he would have to drag the words out of him. Finally, Jensen spoke.  
  
“So, there was this guy. Justin. Justin Hartley.”


	3. Parts 21-31

**Part 21:**

After Tom broke up with him—well, more like denied their two-year relationship even existed—Jensen had a really hard time trusting anyone again. He didn’t even consider dating for a solid year.

Even then, he wasn’t really ready, but Steve started dragging him out to bars and clubs and introducing him to what seemed like every gay man in the Sacramento area. It never really amounted to much. Casual dates, the occasional hook-up, a couple of guys lasted nearly a month, but that was it.

Steve had moved maybe an hour away after graduation, but that was close enough for him to still be meddling in Jensen’s love life or lack thereof. Two years ago, he’d moved to LA and the distance had just been too much for both of them.

Without anyone nagging him, Jensen had mostly stopped trying and thrown himself into work. He was still so afraid of trusting someone else with his heart, it seemed safer not to try.

When Jensen met Justin he thought his luck had finally changed. He was a graduate student who spent a lot of time at Jensen’s branch of C&W, caffeinating and studying.

It took Jensen weeks to even realize Justin was flirting with him. Then another couple of weeks to work up the courage to flirt back. It had been kind of like a fairy tale after that. Jensen had been completely swept off his feet. Justin was funny, sweet, and considerate. He walked right through Jensen’s defenses like they weren’t even there.

For six months, everything had been perfect. Jensen was sure he had found the one. Unfortunately, it turned out that “the one” already had a wife and a baby. When Jensen emerged from his week long drunken haze, he swore off men for good and transferred to LA.

***

 

“It hadn’t even been a month and then my first day there’s Jared and he’s gorgeous and sweet and flirty.” Jensen pauses and swallows hard. “Just like Justin.”

Steve whistled low. “Damn. Why didn’t you tell me, Jen?”

Jensen shook his head. “I just wanted to forget about it and start over.”

“Listen, Jen, you know the thing with Jared today was a misunderstanding.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You should talk to him.”

Jensen bit his lip. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Jared isn’t Tom or Justin. He’s a good guy.”

“Yeah, probably, but Steve. I just don’t think I could take it if things fell apart again.”

Steve started to protest, but the almost broken look on Jensen’s face stopped him. He clenched his jaw and nodded. “Okay, Jen. But sleep on it, all right?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Steve drove home feeling bone weary. He was sure that Jared would be good for Jensen, but he didn’t know how to convince Jensen of that. After the luck he’d had with guys, it wasn’t exactly shocking that he was scared.

He walked in to find Chris waiting up for him.

“Hey, is he okay?”

Steve shrugged. “Not really.”

Chris walked over and hugged Steve tight. “We’ll fix it, okay, babe?”

“We can’t fix everything.”

“We can try.”

**Part 22:**

It was Friday when Jeff finally managed to drag himself back into work. It was the last place he wanted to be, but he had bills to pay and getting fired would be kind of a problem.

“Jeff, hey! You feeling better?” Chris asked when he walked into the department.

“Yeah, absolutely,” he said, though he figured his expression told a different story. He tried to put on a pleasant face. It felt wrong, like his skin was stretched in directions it wasn’t supposed to go.

“You sure, man?”

“Of course.”

Chris looked at him doubtfully, but didn’t push the issue. “Okay. Well I’m gonna grab lunch then.”

“Great, see ya later.”

Jeff set straight to checking on paperwork and seeing what had been done in his absence. So when Mike walked in not two minutes later, he was taken by surprise and jumped about a foot.

“Jesus, don’t do that!”

The Mike he was used to would have cracked a joke at his expense, but today Mike was still uncharacteristically somber. Jeff thought he’d come to terms with it, but the visual confirmation of how much he had been affected by the thing with Tom still cut deep.

“Feeling better, Jeff?”

“Not really,” he bit out before he thought. He immediately wanted to take it back.

Mike winced. “Listen, this isn’t really the best place to talk about this, but you didn’t really give me a lot of choice, so hear me out, okay?”

Jeff glanced uneasily from side to side, keenly aware of the public setting and the fact that he couldn’t just walk off and leave his department unattended. “Um, okay.”

“So, you were right about the other night. I was drunk and upset about Tom. But, uh, I’m not either of those things now. And you and me was—“ he flushed slightly, “really good. Kind of amazing, actually. And we’ve been friends for awhile now. So, if it was just a one-night stand for you, I get it. We never need to talk about it again. But if you maybe wanted it to be more? I definitely do.”

Jeff stared. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Wait, really?”

“Uh, no, I just like publicly humiliating myself.”

“Well, actually you kind of do.”

Mike gave a self-deprecating quirk of a smile. “Oh, yeah. Well, whatever. Yes, really.”

Jeff found his lips on Mike’s without any memory of the between time when he must have moved. Mike was just sinking into the kiss when someone cleared their throat beside them.

They sprang apart to see a middle aged woman staring at them. Jeff coughed. “Oh, can I help you with something?” he asked, feeling a blush bloom across his face. She stared for another couple of seconds, then abruptly turned around and left.

He looked over at Mike and they shared a horrified stare for a moment before the absurdity caught up with them and they burst out laughing. After a minute, they calmed down.

“So, was that a yes?” Mike asked, raising his eyebrows mischievously.

Jeff leaned in and kissed him again, quickly. “Yes.”

“Okay, no more of that!” Mike admonished, his usual sunny demeanor emerging with a vengeance, “We have work to do. Come over tonight?”

Jeff nodded happily. “Yeah, see you then.”

Mike darted in and licked his ear, then ran off, calling, “See ya!”

Jeff laughed softly. He wrapped his arms around himself and leaned back against the counter, not even trying to wipe the smile off his face. He heard a whoop from halfway across the store and looked over to see Mike give Chris a high five. If he weren’t so happy, he would have been upset about his employees meddling in his love life. As it was, though, he’d just pretend to bitch. He had an image to maintain, after all.

**Part 23:**

“Oh, come on, Steve! It’s been two days. You said you’d tell me what was going on!” Jared was aware that shouting at Steve was probably not the best plan, but he’s just so fucking frustrated.

“No, Jared. I said I’d call you, which I did.”

“Yeah, but all you said was Jensen needed some space. I need some help here. He still won’t pick up the phone.”

“Dude, calling him incessantly is not giving him space.”

“I didn’t! I left him alone all yesterday.”

The sound of Steve’s sigh crackled over the phone. “Look, Jay, you’re a good guy. I think you’d be good for Jen and I want to help you. But he’s not in a real good place right now and it’s really not my business to tell you about it. He needs to do that himself.”

“But he won’t even talk to me!”

There was a long pause. Finally, Steve said, “All right. I’ll get you face to face with him, but the rest is up to you.”

Jared felt as though a weight had been lifted off his chest. “Thank you!”

“Just come over around seven, okay?”

“I’ll be there.”

***

 

Jensen really had to hand it to Steve. He would have said his best friend didn’t have a sneaky bone in his body. He would have been deeply mistaken.

“Just come over around six-thirty. We’ll hang out. Real low key, all right?” Steve had said to him earlier that day.

So Jensen had agreed to come. And everything had been totally low key as promised for about a half an hour. Then there was a knock on the door and Jared standing behind it.

Jensen’s fight or flight reflex was set firmly on flight, but Steve laid a steadying hand on his arm. And Jared looked like shit. His shaggy mop of hair was going in several different directions and there were dark circles under eyes gone murky with lack of sleep. It hit Jensen like a punch to the gut.

“Please, Jen, just talk to me,” he pleaded.

Jensen just couldn’t kick the puppy. “Yeah, all right.”

Once that was settled, Chris and Steve wasted no time vacating the apartment, insisting they take all the time they needed to talk. After all, there was always something to do in LA. Once the door clicked shut behind them, deafening silence streatched out between Jared and Jensen. Finally, Jared couldn’t take it anymore.

“Kristen’s a lesbian,” he blurted.

Jensen got a look on his face like he might vaguely remember what amusement was. “Yeah, I know.”

Jared looked bewildered. “Well then, what’s the problem? Why won’t you talk to me?”

Jensen slumped forward, leaning his elbows on his thighs. “Listen, Jared, it’s not you, okay?”

“Oh, no,” Jared cut him off, “Do not even say ‘it’s me’ or I can’t be responsible for what I might do. It’s the most overused breakup cliché ever and it’s never true.”

Jensen flapped his hands helplessly. “But it’s true.”

“So you are breaking up with me?”

The words stabbed Jensen right through the heart. “I just—“ he ran a hand through his hair in agitation. “I thought I was over it, but I’m not.”

“Over what exactly? Because I thought we had a pretty good thing going, Jensen. Actually, I know I’m not supposed to say stuff like this, but it was—you were—are—probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So if you’re gonna give up on that, then I’d really like to know why?”

Jared’s voice was strained and thin with the effort of holding back the tears filling his eyes and, once again, Jensen couldn’t refuse him. He sighed a long, heavy sigh. And then he told Jared about Tom and Justin. Not all the sordid, Technicolor details. Just the pencil sketch version, really, but it was enough.

When he was done, Jared leaned over and hugged him. He didn’t return the embrace, holding himself very carefully for fear he might shatter. But he didn’t push Jared away either.

“I’ll kill Tom for you,” Jared offered seriously.

“Thanks, but it’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, if I’d had homicide on the brain, Steve would have done it for me five years ago.”

Jared nodded. “Fair enough.” He pauses, but Jensen can hear more coming. “Jensen, I’m not those guys. I’m totally comfortable with my orientation. I’ve been out since puberty. And I definitely don’t have a wife hanging around somewhere.”

“It’s not about that, though,” Jensen said miserably.

“Well what’s it about, then?”

“I just—don’t think I could take it if we got closer and things fell apart. Not again.”

Jared looked like he wanted to protest, but he didn’t. Instead he said, “Well, then, I guess I’ll see you at work.” His mouth was set in a grim line.

Jensen wanted to say something to stop him, call him back, but his sense of self-preservation wouldn’t let him. “Yeah, see ya,” he whispered brokenly. He watched Jared walk out the door and wondered how much heartache he’d really saved himself considering how wretched he was feeling right that minute.

He flipped open his cell phone and texted Steve that he could come home. Fifteen minutes later his best friend wrapped his arms around him and Jensen sobbed like his heart was breaking.

**Part 24:**

Mike was buzzing with nervous energy by the time Jeff knocked on the door.

“Hey!” he said as he threw the door open far too quickly to pretend he’d been doing anything other than pacing in front of it waiting for the knock. Mike wasn’t the kind of person who wasted time trying to be “cool.” He knew he was awesome and he was perfectly comfortable with acting as excited as he was to see his new boyfriend.

Jeff grinned shyly back at him. “Hey.” He walked in and glanced around. “Place looks a little different when it’s not full of drunk people.”

Mike laughed. “Yeah, it does at that. So, uh, have you eaten? Or . . .”

“Yeah, yeah I had dinner earlier.”

There was a moment where they bobbed around awkwardly, unsure of how to get past the small talk. Then Mike said, “Aw, fuck it.” He jumped in and laid a sloppy kiss on Jeff’s lips. Then he pulled back and put his hands on Jeff’s shoulders. “I am really glad you’re here,” he said.

Jeff smiled warmly, something kindling in his eyes. He grabbed Mike’s hips and pulled him back in, kissing him long and slow. He dragged his teeth across Mike’s lower lip and if that didn’t go straight to his cock—“Yeah, me too.”

They left a haphazard trail of clothing behind them on their way to the bedroom like some demented version of Hansel and Gretel. “Gonna be better this time,” Jeff promised as he almost literally threw Mike down on the bed.

Then he fisted Mike’s cock, drawing little whimpering pants from him. “Don’t know if I can survive better,” he gasped.

Jeff laughed low and dirty and proceeded to show him just how much “better” he could survive.

Afterwards, they lay tangled together, flushed and happy, letting their heart rates drop back down to normal. “I’m glad I was sober this time,” Mike said reflectively, dropping a soft kiss at the corner of Jeff’s mouth.

Jeff turned his head slightly to catch Mike’s lips full on and dipped his tongue in to taste. “Yeah, me too,” he said, smiling. And this time they both slept well.

***

 

Jared wasn’t really sure how he made it home, considering the big gaping wound where his heart used to be, but somehow he found himself at his own door anyway. He pushed it open and stared at its familiarity that suddenly seemed foreign to him. Chad was kicked back on their shabby couch, playing Madden. He looked up when he heard the door open.

“Hey, man,” he greeted, “What’s going—“ He stopped when he got a good look at Jared’s face. He scrambled up off the couch and crossed over to the door. There was a moment where he almost hesitated in straight boy awkwardness, but it didn’t happen. He threw his arms around his best friend, holding on tight and patting his back comfortingly.

Jared’s arms came up and around, hugging him back. Then he dropped and pulled back and Chad let him go. “You wanna talk about it, man?” he asked deferentially.

Jared’s chin quivered and his puppy-dog eyes glassed over. Then he squared his jaw and inhaled sharply, pulling himself together. He shook his head. “No,” he said in a quiet rasp, “I think I’m just gonna go to bed.”

Chad nodded. “All right. If you change your mind,” he trailed off.

“Yeah, thanks, Chad.”

“Anytime, buddy.”

Jared shuffled into his bedroom and shut the door. He didn’t bother to turn the lights on, just threw himself down on the bed, still dressed. He prayed for unconsciousness to swallow him, but apparently God wasn’t listening. He stared into the darkness wide-awake, memories of Jensen chasing around his head. The first time he’d seen him in Channing and Weston, their first date, first kiss, first . . . in this very bed.

Jared growled in frustration and rolled over. A tension headache was building from the pressure of the unshed tears behind his eyes. He gave up and let them fall, soaking into his pillow. When he’d cried until there were no tears left, sleep finally took him.

He woke up with a start the next morning. He had a hell of a headache and the peculiar feeling that his subconscious mind had been working on his problems while he slept. Because there were ideas buzzing around his head that definitely had not been there the night before. He was definitely feeling the effects of sleeping in his clothes, so he showered and got cleaned up. Then he proceeded to call, text, or email everyone he knew.

**Part 25:**

Jensen really didn’t want to go to work. He didn’t know if Jared was scheduled today, but it was statistically likely. Which meant he’d have to see him and then he’d feel like dying all over again. Yes, he’d turned Jared down, but it still hurt. He constantly told himself it was better to feel this pain now than a lot more pain later, but it wasn’t very convincing.

It really didn’t help when he dragged himself into the break room to drop off his stuff and saw Sandy and Kristen sitting together holding hands and so close they were practically sharing a chair. They were laughing when he came in, clearly in the middle of a conversation.

“Oh, hey, and remember a few months ago when Jared decided to get everybody together to go to the pride parade?” Kristen asked.

“Yeah, and then Eric started freaking out because he didn’t think he had enough straight people to cover all the shifts for that weekend,” Sandy replied.

Just then, Chris came in, skirting around Jensen. “Hey, girls. What’s up?”

Kristen rolled her eyes. “Just talking about when Jared decided we should all show our rainbow colors and go to the pride parade.”

Chris smiled reminiscently. “Yeah, that was awesome. And then when Eric didn’t think he’d be able to cover all the shifts, he offered to stay behind and help out.”

“Yeah. Good thing Eric let him off the hook. I mean, it really would have sucked if he organized the whole thing and didn’t get to go,” Sandy said.

Chris nodded. “Yeah, but that’s Big Jay for ya. Always putting other people first.”

Jensen whirled and walked out. He couldn’t take another second of listening to the list of Jared’s perfections. And, speak of the devil, he was so lost in his own thoughts he ran straight into the man himself.

He recoiled from the solid muscle of Jared’s chest as though he’d been burned. His jaw dropped as he looked him up and down. Jared was wearing black pants cut just this side of too scandalously tight for work, a glaringly pink button-down and—Jensen blinked a couple of times to make sure his eyes weren’t betraying him—a rainbow belt. Jensen coughed self-consciously.

“Oh, hey, Jensen!” Jared greeted brightly, as though they hadn’t just had a traumatic breakup the night before. Jensen looked at him closely, though, and he could see the lines of stress around his eyes and mouth. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one. He felt guilty the second he thought it.

“Hey, Jared,” he said quietly, then walked past without another word.

It took him a few days to notice anything out of the ordinary. People liked Jared and it wasn’t unusual to hear him mentioned in conversation. But now it seemed like everywhere he went everyone was talking about what a great guy Jared was and especially how fantastically gay he was.

Jared himself seemed to be angling for flamboyant bookseller of the year. The rainbow belt was just the beginning of his fabulous new style. Pink, purple, lime green, teal and all tailored well enough to have Jensen biting the insides of his cheeks in frustration.

All things considered, Jensen figured there was some sort of master plan involved. He had the faint hope that if he ignored it, it might go away. Then, about a week into the covert attacks, a phone call came for him at the store. The overhead page identified him by name, so he knew it probably wasn’t work related.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jensen?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”

“Um, my name’s Megan. Megan Padalecki. I’m Jared’s sister.”

“Uh, and you’re calling me why?”

“Jared asked me to. Look, he must really like you because he’s certainly never asked me to do anything like this before. I have to say, from what he’s told me I don’t really think you deserve him. But the big goof is usually a pretty good judge of character and he thinks you do, so just listen to what I have to say, okay?”

Jensen felt like he’d been sucker punched. “Yeah, okay,” he managed to say.

“Jared came out to our parents when he was fifteen. I remember before he did it, he was terrified and pacing in his bedroom. I was only twelve at the time so I didn’t really understand yet. I said if he was so scared, maybe he just shouldn’t tell. But he just looked at me and said he had to be honest about who he really was. He knew it would upset some people and he was really worried that it would hurt our mom and dad, but he would rather deal with that than live a lie. He didn’t even have a boyfriend at the time. He just wanted them to know. He was scared, but he didn’t let the fear stop him from doing what he knew was right. I haven’t met many teenagers with that kind of integrity, Jensen. I don’t know about you.”

Jensen was at a complete loss. “Uh, wow,” he choked out.

“Yeah. So that’s the kind of person Jared is. What kind of person are you?”

He was saved from having to come up with a response by the faint click indicating Megan had hung up. He listened to the dead line, staring at nothing until the busy signal sounded shrilly in his ears.

**Part 26:**

Jensen was still reeling from Megan’s call when Chad came up and clapped him jovially on the shoulder. “Hey, buddy!” he greeted.

Jensen looked at him warily. He was kind of terrified of all his coworkers at this point. “Hey.”

“What time do you get off tonight?”

“Umm, nine.”

“Hey, me too! You wanna grab some coffee or something after?”

Jensen gestured over at the café where Chad spent all his time making lattes, raising an eyebrow.

Chad rolled his eyes. “Come on, man. I’m so sick of this place. Let’s go caffeinate somewhere else. Please?”

Jensen knew defeat when he saw it. He knew that whatever this was, it couldn’t be good, but he didn’t have a believable excuse for not going and Chad did pitiful puppy almost as well as Jared. He sighed. “Sure, man.”

“Awesome! Catch you at nine then.”

Jensen was twitchy for the rest of his shift, dreading what was to come. Once they were done, he followed Chad a few blocks down the street to a little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop; definitely not Starbucks affiliated, which suited them both just fine.

“I love this place,” Chad said easily, “One of the last vestiges of non-corporate America.”

Jensen nodded. They got their coffee and settled at a table in a quiet corner. After a couple of minutes of companionably sipping their drinks, Jensen broke the silence.

“Look, man, I know you didn’t just want to grab a cup of coffee with the guy who broke up with your best friend a week ago, so whatever it is, let’s just get on with it, okay?”

“Aww, man!” Chad clapped a hand over his eyes in embarrassment. “And I thought I was being all subtle.”

Jensen couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Points for effort, but on top of the storewide obsession with Jared’s virtues and the phone call from his sister this afternoon, it wasn’t that hard to figure out.”

“Yeah, okay, I surrender. Jared totally put me up to this. But I probably woulda done it anyway.”

“It’s okay.”

“Look, Jared’s my best friend. Ever since we met he has always been there for me. And believe me, I’ve done some stupid shit. A couple of times no one would have blamed him if he just left me to clean up my own mess, but he never did. Once Jared is in your life, he’s there for good. I’ve never seen him give up on anybody. And on the rare occasions when he’s messed up, he’s gone nearly crazy trying to make it right. You couldn’t pick a better person to trust. It kills me to see him hurting, so please, give him another chance?”

The walls closed in around Jensen and he was suddenly itchy and desperate to be anywhere that wasn’t here. “Umm, look I’ll think about it, but I’ve got to go,” he said distractedly, pushing his chair out and standing up.

Chad looked at him with a bewildered expression. “You all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, just—I’ll see ya.”

“Umm, okay.”

Jensen bolted. He took a few moments just outside the coffee shop to catch his breath and calm the sourceless panic that had taken up residence in his chest. Then he walked to his car, only to find Jared leaning against it.

He looked like himself again, dressed in worn denim and a faded pink t-shirt, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched forward like he was trying to hide.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Jensen returned warily.

“Um, can I talk to you?”

“Well, everyone else has. I guess it’s your turn.” There was a bit of a sting to his words and Jensen regretted it as he heard himself. “Sorry, uncalled for.”

Jared shook his head. “No, you’re right. It was stupid. I just thought they could be like,” he paused, searching, “Character witnesses or something. I swear, I didn’t ask them to lie.”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, I know. You wouldn’t do that.”

Jared’s voice took on a pleading tone. “I just wanted you to know you’re safe with me. I mean, I can’t see the future. I can’t promise that everything’s going to work out. No one can do that, Jensen. But I do know that I really want to be with you and if you’d give me a chance I would do everything in my power to keep from hurting you. Please?”

Jensen moved toward Jared involuntarily. He wanted so badly to believe it, but he kept seeing all the people he’d thought he could trust who had betrayed him in the past running through his head like some awful home movie. The fear was so thick in his throat it was nearly choking him. “Jared, I can’t! I want to believe you, but I just—God, I can’t.”

The light in Jared’s eyes went out abruptly. He nodded jerkily. “All right. Okay. I’ve done everything I can think of. If it’s not enough, then it’s not. But you should ask yourself. What’s going to be enough? What will convince you to trust somebody? Or are you just going to hide forever?” Jared took a few steps away. “Goodbye, Jensen,” he nearly whispered.

Jensen’s vision went blurry as he watched Jared walk away again.

**Part 27:**

Jensen found himself at Steve and Chris’ apartment without any real memory of driving there. He pounded on the door frantically, not letting up until it was yanked open. He stared uncomprehendingly at Chris for a moment before asking, “Where’s Steve?”

“Out at Blockbuster. You all right? You don’t look so good.”

“Yeah, yeah, fine.”

“Sure you are. Come on in and sit down. You look like you’re about to fall over.”

Jensen opened his mouth to protest, then closed it. “Yeah, okay.” He sat down on the very edge of the couch, tension running through every inch of him.

“You want a beer?”

“Sure.”

Chris grabbed two bottles from the fridge. He handed one to Jensen as he settled beside him on the couch. Jensen took a sip, savoring the bitter taste. A tiny fraction of the tension left his muscles so he no longer felt so much like a piano wire stretched to the breaking point.

“You want to talk about it?”

Jensen looked at him, sure he looked as much like a deer in the headlights as he felt.

Chris sighed. “Steve’ll be back in a few minutes. I just thought maybe a less familiar ear might help.”

Jensen thought about it. “Yeah, maybe. Umm, how much has Steve told you about me?”

Chris grinned. “Well, plenty. You’re his best friend. To hear him tell it you walk on water, by the way.”

Jensen flushed a little and grabbed the momentary distraction. “Well, if I walk on water you must have the full on halo and wings thing going on the way he can’t stop talking about you.”

Chris’ lips twisted as he tried to suppress his pleased grin. “Thanks. I guess that’s not what you meant, though.”

“No. I mean, me and guys.”

“Well, he mentioned you had a bad break-up in college, but he didn’t go into specifics. He wouldn’t.”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, I figured. Well, let’s just say I have an unfortunate habit of dating guys who decide they’re straight later on.”

Chris whistled low. “Man, that’s rough.”

“Yeah. So I’m— a bit gun shy. More than a bit.”

“Fair enough. So what’s got you practically hyperventilating on my doorstep then?”

“Umm, Jared.”

“The gentle giant? Really?”

“It’s just, he’s so perfect and I can’t—I can’t do it again. I can’t put my heart into something and watch it fall apart. It just—hurts too much.” Jensen’s throat closed up, tears threatening again. He started at Chris’ hand squeezing his shoulder.

“Can I say something?”

Jensen nodded miserably.

“You’re scared. That’s all right. Sounds like you’ve had a real shitty time of it so far. But, Jensen. From the way you’re talking it’s pretty clear your heart’s already gone. Now you can break it off and have nothing more to do with Jared, but you can’t call your heart back when it’s already given, whether you meant to do it or not. So you might as well enjoy the good parts instead of being so worried about what might happen you just break your heart all by yourself. And hey, sometimes it doesn’t end bad, you know?”

Jensen stared at him. His stomach dropped and his eyes widened.

“Oh, God, I’m an idiot, aren’t I?” he said with growing horror.

Chris grinned warmly. “Nah, just needed some fresh perspective.”

Steve came in to find Jensen tackle-hugging Chris. “Hey, now. No groping my boyfriend!”

Jensen pulled back. “Just a hug between friends,” he said, “God, I have to go and—“ He stood up and took a couple of steps towards the door. “Oh shit, I can’t just—after everything he did I can’t just go tell him ‘oops, I was wrong!’ He put up with so much of my crap.” He turned back to Steve. “You have to help me!” he said, desperation written all over his face.

Steve blinked. “Well, if someone would tell me what’s going on, I’d be happy to.”

Chris laughed and slung and arm around him. “Don’t worry, baby. We’ll fill you in.” He turned to look at Jensen. “And then we’ll get to work on a plan, okay?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, thank you.”

Chris jumped up to grab a third beer for Steve and then they got down to business.

**Part 28:**

Jared slogged through most of his shift on miserable, irritable autopilot. He was barely civil with customers and re-shelved books with considerably more force than necessary. He was relieved when his lunch break rolled around. He yanked off his name tag and barely resisted sprinting for the break room.

He had been sitting down for maybe five minutes, lost in his own, gloomy thoughts, when he heard Kristen page over the PA system. “Jared to the Information Desk, please,” she said and it sounded like she was holding back laughter. He scowled and grabbed the phone, dialing the extension for the info desk.

“Can’t it wait, Kristen? I’m on lunch.”

She totally failed to restrain her giggles this time. “Oh, I think you’ll want to see this,” she said.

“Fine. On my way.”

He made his way back out to the floor with brisk, agitated steps, not really paying attention to his surroundings until he drew up short a few feet from the desk. He blinked a few times to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Jensen was standing there, a guitar slung over his shoulder. He bit his lip and looked uncertainly at Jared.

Jared started to turn around, intending to retreat the way he came. He found Chris and Steve behind him, keeping him from bolting. “Let me go,” he hissed.

Steve met his eyes steadily. “Just hear him out. Please. If you feel the same then, you can go, okay?”

Jared weighed his options. Chris and Steve were kind of short. He could get past them. It would mean a brawl in the middle of the store, though, and that would probably get him fired. He glared at both of them in turn. “Fine.” He turned back to Jensen. “I’m listening.”

Jensen nodded and drew in a shaky breath. He didn’t speak, though. Instead he started to play. He strummed quietly through a chord pattern and then he opened his mouth and sang.

I don’t get many things right the first time  
In fact, I am told that a lot.  
Now I know all the wrong turns and stumbles and falls brought me here.

And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face?  
Now I see it every day.

And I know that I am, I am, I am the luckiest.

 

His voice was clear and pure, but breathy with nerves. His fingers fumbled a couple of times on the frets. He glanced down a few times, but mostly he held Jared’s eyes.

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

 

Jared tried to remain unmoved. He reminded himself of all the bullshit Jensen had put him through. But hearing him pouring his heart out now, in front of everyone, he couldn’t hold onto his anger.

I’m sorry. I know that’s a strange way to tell you that I know we belong.  
That I know that I am, I am, I am the luckiest.

 

As the last note faded away, Jared realized tears were pouring down his face. Jensen pulled the guitar strap over his head and handed the instrument to Mike, who was the closest observer. He took a tentative step forward.

“God, Jensen,” Jared said, feeling like the words were ripped out of him, “You can’t just—after everything—and then you come here and you sing. It doesn’t just make all that go away.”

Jensen swallowed hard, but kept walking towards Jared until they were more inches apart. Jared whole body was thrumming with the desire to either run away or close the last of the distance between them.

“I know,” Jensen said, his voice rough with emotion, “I know I have a lot to make up for, but I swear if you will just give me another chance I will do everything in my power not to fuck it up.” And now he was crying too. “I am so, so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. If you forgive me, I really will be the luckiest man on earth.”

Jared made a small, involuntary sound in his throat and then he was kissing Jensen. It was hard and desperate and tasted salty with their mingled tears. He pulls back, resting his forehead on Jensen’s.

“Yeah, okay,” he said with a watery smile, “Just don’t break my heart again, all right?”

Jensen pulled back a little more and met Jared’s eyes, squaring his shoulders with the air of a man making an important vow. “I promise.”

Cheers erupted from the peanut gallery. They both started and looked around at their friends. They had forgotten that anyone in the world existed outside of them. Jared grinned wide and Jensen blushed up to the roots of his hair. Jared pulled him into a tight hug. Over his shoulder he saw Mike kissing Jeff exuberantly. Finally, he thought, glad that he wasn't the only happy one.

“Did you mean it?” he whispered in Jensen’s ear.

Jensen looked at him. “Mean what?”

“In the song, you said you loved me. Did you mean it?”

Jensen stilled, the nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I did.”

Jared smiled, warmth blossoming in his chest. “I love you too.”

**Part 29:**

Jensen paced his living room, waiting for Jared to arrive. The hours since their very public reunion seemed interminable. He had cleaned his apartment from top to bottom, paying special attention. He’d made sure his refrigerator contained something other than beer and ketchup in case Jared got hungry. He’d checked his email twelve times. Now there was nothing to do but wait.

He made himself sit down and picked up a book and tried to read, but he couldn’t even focus long enough to read a whole page. He tossed it aside in frustration. Jared’s shift ended at five. At five o’clock and thirty seconds Jensen started panicking that Jared had changed his mind and decided he couldn’t forgive him after all and he wasn’t coming. He reminded himself to breathe and to remember that it would take Jared at least half an hour to get here in rush hour traffic.

At 5:29 there was a knock on Jensen’s door. He made himself take a breath before opening the door. And there was Jared in all his ridiculously tall, floppy-haired glory.

Jensen felt the grin split his face. “You came,” he said.

Jared grinned back at him. “Of course I came. You didn’t think I’d change my mind did you?”

Jensen shrugged. “Not really. I worried.”

Jared took a few steps forward, backing Jensen into the room and shutting the door behind them. “You shouldn’t have.”

“Tough habit to break.”

Jared looked at him like he was the most amazing thing ever. “I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” Jensen said, his cheeks pinking a bit.

They stared at each other for a few moments. The space between them practically hummed. It wasn’t clear who moved first, but suddenly there was no more distance between them.

The kiss was deep and needy, but not too fast. It was like they were competing to see who could climb inside the other. Jared got Jensen back against the nearest wall, pressing every inch of them together.

Jensen propelled Jared a little ways into the room, following with his mouth. “Bedroom,” he managed to gasp out between kisses.

Jared nodded and Jensen dragged him in the correct direction. It took them longer than it should have to get rid of their clothes. They kept touching and kissing, like it was some kind of compulsion. Finally, though, there was nothing between them but air. Then there wasn’t even that.

They tumbled onto the bed and Jared ended up on top. They kissed some more, and Jensen couldn’t get enough. He let his hands wander over Jared’s back, stomach, hips, the curve of his ass. Finally he moved in the direction of his cock, grasping it firmly yet gently, loving the feel of the silky hot skin.

Jared hissed in pleasure. “God, Jen, so good.”

Jensen tangled his other hand in Jared’s hair and pulled him down to whisper in his ear, “I want you to fuck me.”

Jared moaned low in his throat. “Yeah, Jen.” He cleared his throat. “Yes.”

Jared prepped him slow and careful, with a look of intense concentration. Every so often, his fingers sparked against Jensen’s prostate, making Jensen arch and yelp in pleasure.

“That’s good, Jay. I’m ready.”

Jared nodded. He pulled his fingers out and pushed Jensen’s knees up and apart. Jensen felt Jared’s cock pressing against his opening, then sliding in. Jared was bigger than he was used to and it took some adjusting. Jared slid in inch by inch until he was all the way in.

Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared’s back and his arms around his shoulders. Then they started to move. It was slow at first, testing. Jensen loved the feeling of fullness and the delicious friction as Jared moved in and out of him.

Soon they picked up the pace, a frantic pressure building between them. Jared reached a hand between them and grasped Jensen’s cock. He was too far gone to get a good rhythm going, but it didn’t much matter. Jensen was so overwhelmed with sensation that the friction had him coming in moments. Jared cried out and threw his head back, following Jensen over the edge.

They lay front to front, recovering. Jensen hugged Jared to him, kissing his hair. “I love you so much it hurts, Jay.”

Jared tilted his head and kissed Jensen sweetly. “I love you more.”

Jensen pulled back and spotted the gleam of mischief in Jared’s eyes. “Oh, yeah?”

“I wore a rainbow belt for you.”

“Well I sang in public for you.”

“You should really do that professionally, you know. You’re amazing.”

“Okay, now you’re starting to sound like Steve. I don’t do well in front of crowds.”

“Well, maybe I can find a way to convince you.”

“Like what?”

Jared quickly slid down Jensen’s body and licked a stripe across his hipbones. “Lemme show you,” he said, grinning wickedly.

Jensen shuddered, feeling his spent cock twitching to life again. “Yeah,” he said breathlessly, “I’m all right with that.”

**Part 30:**

Unlike most of Mike’s parties, this wasn’t an open invitation free for all. Because Mike was a nice person, he had warned the invitees not to say anything in the store on pain of death. He didn’t want anyone else feeling left out. All the same, this wasn’t an everyone kind of gathering. It was much quieter, for one thing. Sure, there was drinking, but significantly less raucous drunkenness.

It was a close friends only celebration of Mike’s five year anniversary with Channing and Weston. “Long live corporate America!” he cheered, raising his beer bottle.

The group laughed and drank with him. Jeff leaned easily against his side. He was grinning easily, an expression that everyone was getting used to seeing on his face. Chris and Steve had both taken Mike aside to thank him for the much improved work environment.

Speaking of Chris and Steve they were on the couch, taking up much less room than they would if they weren’t surgically attached. “So,” Steve said, “Chris and I have been writing some songs.”

A low buzz of surprise made its way around the circle.

“And—“ Steve raised his voice and waited for quiet, “And we just booked our first gig at this little club. You should all come.”

Congratulations and hugging met this announcement. After Jared had offered his standard lung-crushing bear hugs, he tossed in, faux-casually, “You know, you all should let Jen play some with you.”

Jensen made wide eyes of horror and shook his head frantically.

Steve chuckled. “Oh, we’d love to if he could get over that stage fright thing. Come on, Jen! What do you say?”

Jensen opened his mouth, but Jared beat him to it. “Remember our talk?”

Jensen shot him a look that was dirty in more than one sense. Then he turned back to Steve. “I’ll think about it. As long as we practice a lot first.”

Steve grinned. “Awesome!”

With the pressure off for the time being, Jensen settled back against Jared, sighing contentedly.

“Hey, where’d Chad and Sophia go?” Kristen asked. Sandy was draped around her like she had no intention of disentangling herself anytime soon.

Mike threw his head back and yelled, “Chad! Sophia! Where are you?”

A crash sounded from the patio, followed by muffled cursing and laughter.

“Out here!” Sophia called.

“What are you doing? Making out?” Mike said.

A long pause that somehow managed to be awkward even through the wall answered that question.

“Oh, my God! You are!” Kristen exclaimed delightedly.

Chad and Sophia reluctantly reentered the living room, looking embarrassed, but pleased.

“Umm, we’ll see you guys later, okay?” Sophia said, blushing.

Whistling and catcalls followed them out the door.

“Well, who would have thought it,” Jensen said, sounding a bit stunned.

“Oh, I knew they had crushes on each other for pretty much ever,” Sandy said.

Mike laughed. “She’s small, but she’s fierce!” He looked around and groaned. “Oh no, guys. We’re losing them.”

Everyone looked where Mike was looking and saw that Jared and Jensen had started kissing.

“It’s like some kind of symbiotic parasite thing,” Kristen said.

“Oh, get a room,” Chris teased.

Jensen pulled away from Jared and grinned. “You know, that’s the best idea I’ve heard all night.” He stood up and pulled Jared off the couch after him. “Catch you guys later!”

Jared laughed and followed as Jensen dragged him towards the door. “Thanks for having us over, Mike,” he called over his shoulder.

“Don’t mention it, lovebirds.” Mike called back.

“Well,” Steve said, resting his hands behind his head contentedly, “It looks like everything is finally working itself out.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Chris said, “I’m sure by tomorrow there’ll be some new drama for you to fix.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Sad, but true,” he replied, “I swear it’s gotta be something in the bookstore air.”

**Part 31:**

**One Year Later . . .**

Steve was a bit distracted on his way back from lunch. He was running through possible set lists in his head. Lately he and Chris had been getting a lot of good press in the local club scene. It was getting to the point where they were both thinking of dropping hours at C&W, or maybe quitting entirely. They’d managed to get Jensen up on stage with them only a handful of times, with Jared’s help. Tonight he was joining them again. Steve hoped this time maybe he’d agree to sing lead on a song or two.

He was pulled abruptly out of his musings when he spotted the tall, blond guy at the information desk. He had a tiny carbon copy of himself, maybe three years old, balanced on his hip. He was looking around searchingly. Steve scanned the floor, but it seemed that everyone was otherwise occupied. He sighed and fished his nametag out of his pocket.

“Hi, can I help you with something?” he asked with false brightness.

The guy turned towards him with a disarming expression. “Yeah, actually I was looking for Jensen. Jensen Ackles?” He peered at Steve like he was trying to remember something, then his eyes lit up. “You’re Steve, aren’t you?”

Steve stared at him in consternation. “Umm, yeah. And you are?”

“Oh, sorry! Justin Hartley. Nice to finally meet you.” He transferred the moppet to his other hip and held out his hand.

Steve raised his eyebrows and made no move to shake the offered hand. “I think maybe you’d better take your literary needs elsewhere,” he said with dangerous casualness.

Justin looked at Steve with confusion that was starting to cloud into anger. Then his eyes shifted to some point over Steve’s shoulder and a smile broke a cross his face. “Jensen!” he called, “Hey, Jenny!”

Steve whirled around and saw Jensen, frozen in place and suddenly pale with wide eyes. Justin brushed past him, taking long strides towards Jensen. When he got close, Jensen took a couple of steps back.

“Justin,” he said faintly, “What are you doing here?”

“Heard you were working here, man. Came to see you.” His pleasant tone sounded a little strained now.

Steve tried to step between them.

“Listen, could we have a minute?” Justin asked, “Alone?”

Steve looked at Jensen, perfectly willing to force the issue, but Jensen shook his head.

“It’s okay. I’ll talk to him.”

Steve backed off, shooting a last warning glance at Justin.

 

***

Jensen just stared. It was like seeing a ghost. A ghost with a toddler. “What are you really doing here, Justin?”

“Like I said, I—we—came to visit you. This is Quinn, by the way.”

Jensen only spared a brief glance for the kid, adorable though he was. “It’s a long way from Sacramento to LA.”

Justin looked pained, glancing from side to side and shifting his weight. “Well, umm, Lindsay kind of left us. Left me. She’s got joint custody of Quinn.”

“Why?”

Justin studied the floor. “She found out about you,” he said, almost too low to be heard.

Jensen felt a hot stab of vindication. Then he felt ashamed for enjoying someone else’s pain, even Justin’s. After all, that sweet little boy was going to grow up in a broken home now. Still, Lindsay wasn’t stuck in a lie of a marriage anymore, so the good and evil probably balanced out in the long run.

“That still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here.”

Justin bit his lip. “Well, after the divorce, I kind of wanted a fresh start. I’m ready to be honest about who I am now. Jensen, I’m sorry I was such a dick to you before. I was just too scared to come out and I didn’t handle it well. But I guess the truth will out. So to speak. Anyway, I know I have no right to ask this, but I was hoping you’d consider taking me back.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

They both turned sharply towards the new voice. Jensen let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when he saw Jared standing there. He was even taller than Justin and definitely broader. His arms were crossed over his chest and his expression was forbidding.

Justin apparently wasn’t quite ready to admit defeat, though. He jutted his chin forward. “And who are you?”

Jared stepped forward and wrapped his arms possessively around Jensen’s waist. Jensen leaned back against him, perfectly willing to complete the image. “I’m Jensen’s boyfriend, Jared, and you’re lucky you’re holding a kid. Now go on and take your too little, too late on out of here, all right?”

Justin huffed and spluttered, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could say to that. It was the first time Jensen had ever really seen his mask crack. “Yeah, fine, whatever,” he said. Then he turned and stalked out of the store, frustration written in every line of his body.

Jensen relaxed even further against Jared’s chest. “Steve?” he asked.

Jared chuckled. “Yeah, he let me know what was going on. Are you okay?”

Jensen turned himself around and placed his hands on Jared’s shoulders. “Yes, thanks to you. Have I told you today that I love you?”

Jared grinned. “I think you might have mentioned it, but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Jensen groaned and buried his face in Jared’s neck. “Oh, come on! Not this argument again.”

“All right, all right. Let’s call it a draw, okay?”

Jensen nodded. “Agreed.” He leaned up and placed a quick kiss on Jared’s lips. “Now I think we both have to get back to work.”

Jared sighed over-dramatically. “Too true. Such is the plight of the over-educated, under-paid corporate bookstore employee.”

“You know you love it,” Jensen said.

“How could I not? I found you here, didn’t I?”

Jensen really has to agree. What could he have against a place that gave him Jared? He smiled to himself and he got on with his work, looking forward to going home with his boyfriend later.


End file.
